Gratitude. Ugh. I'm having a really, really hard time finding gratitude in my life right now. But I know enough to know that it's the first step in helping myself heal from the trauma I've been through recently.
Last year I participated in the Month Of Gratitude Challenge and each day I listed five things I was grateful for. I don't know that I'll be able to find five daily things this year. I'm still too deep in a depression, too deep in shock, too deep in fear to have the clarity to find five. But I do have enough sense left to know that if I look hard enough I can find five.
So here is day one of my Month of Gratitude 2012. Hopefully each day there will be five items listed. But if not, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I'm doing the best I can do right now.
November 1, 2012
1. Friends who have held me as I cried these past few months.
2. My kids who have rallied together to not only help me but help each other through this difficult time right now.
3. I still get to live in a house I love.
4. Making kid #1 take a Red Cross Safe Babysitting class many years ago. It came in handy today when he very quickly gave another kid at school the Heimlich maneuver who was choking.
5. My mom's voice in my head telling me "this too shall pass".