Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Crying Because of A Man: My Mom Would Be So Proud

If you are even remotely involved in my life you know by now Elephant Journal printed an article I wrote about the Yoga Book Club on Twitter.

In case you are the one person who has been hiding in a cave I haven't found yet to tell, you can read it here: My first Elephant Journal article! See that's really my name and picture!

A couple weeks ago Bob Weisenberg, Elephant Journal Yoga editor, emailed me and asked if I'd be interested in writing a story about the book club. At first I shouted YES. Then I sat down and wrote a proper, calm, cool and collected email response saying of course I would write something as time allowed.

Then I did nothing for 4 days, paralyzed by fear. Who am I to think I can write for Elephant Journal? Never mind I have a college degree in print communications, never mind I began my career days as a newspaper reporter and freelance magazine writer. That was years ago.

But in the back of my mind I kept thinking about my mom.  In one of our quiet moments together before she died, she told me how proud she was of me, how much she loved me and to get off my ass and start writing again.

Yep, that's my mom.

So finally I sat and I wrote and I emailed it off. And Mr Weisenberg - the Bob Weisenberg - said he loved it. He liked me,  he really liked me! Well OK, he liked my writing but I think if he spent enough time with me he'd like me too.

He said he'd not only like to print the book club article, but offer me a regular monthly blog on Elephant Journal.  Did you hear that mom? I got off my ass. I took a chance. And it worked.

Does this mean I've passed the Elephant Journal litmus test for coolness? Does it mean I'm a hipster yogi? I'm letting myself believe it does. (No worries about my head getting too big. I have six kids who right now are complaining about the gross dinner I made that will keep me very grounded.)

But mom's not here anymore for me to share this with her. And when I picked up the phone to tell my mom that the Bob Weisenberg from the Elephant Journal liked my writing, it hit me that mom really is gone now. Damn. She would be so proud of me.

So I cried because it feels so good to be writing again. It's been a piece of me that's been missing for too long now. And I cried because Bob Weisenberg validated that missing piece. And I cried because cancer stole my mom from me. And now another piece of me is missing that no one can ever replace.

So I shall keep writing. But first this cool, hipster yogi needs to go squash a dinner boycott. Mom would be so proud of that too.

17 comments:

  1. Such a beautiful, powerful piece. I'm so happy for you to rediscover your love for writing and connect with your mom through it. I'm sure she would be proud. <3

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  2. I'm proud of you and I know your Mom is, was, and always shall be/

    Love to you...

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  3. I loved this post! I can SO relate.

    And don't worry about the dinner. I'm sure it wasn't that bad... kids have bad taste. :)

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  4. Hi, Jennifer.

    All the while you're having these wonderful feelings, I'm thinking how lucky Elephant is to have found someone who can write so vividly and enthusiastically about this emerging #YOBC phenomenon.

    We're very pleased to have you.

    Bob

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  5. CONGRATS JEN!! and looky who commented on this post Mr. Weisenberg himself =) and you were so worried about being able to complete #YIOM!

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  6. Jennifer,I think your mom whispered in Bob's ear, I don't know maybe in a really great dream about your blog......who knows, but you know she's smiling and all I can say is how damn lucky Bob is to get you!

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  7. Congrats Jennifer - So proud of you! Glad to hear you will be representing #YOBC on EJ - woo hoo!

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  8. This is too spectacular for words Jenn, I am so proud of you!!!

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  9. Congrats!! That's amazing, such a touching post too. :) <3

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  10. This is soooo AWESOME!!!! Congrats, we are ALL so proud of you:-) You deserve this, have fun doing what you love:-)
    Hugs,
    Terra

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  11. Congrats, this is awesome, you and the #YOBC crew rock!

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  12. It is always a joy to read your blogs, and the article you wrote in the elephant journal was terrific !!! I know your mom is proud of you. We are all blessed to know you!!

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  13. you rock, sister. proud of you.

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  14. congrats on your new gig. If I can get to reading HC I will join in the fun. Peace.

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  15. Really i joyfully when read your blog and so much talent sharing hare.Thanks

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