107 Blog Posts, Lessons, Tears - The Journey Has Just Begun

Recently it was brought to my attention that I didn't write a Happy 100 blog post. Well, not only did I not know I was supposed to write a commemorative 100th blog post, but I didn't even realize I had reached 100 already!

So, tonight we have Congratulations 107 Blog Post.

I started this blog almost exactly 9 months ago with the intention to get back to journaling, rekindle my love of writing and a place to talk about and share my yoga. I had friends who wrote blogs that were fun to read so I figured I'd give it a try. I honestly didn't think anyone would read it, and I honestly didn't care. I was writing for myself.

I had no idea then the topics that I would end up writing about, the truths I would share here, or how important this blog would become to me.

I wouldn't have believed there were going to be nights I cried as I typed, but I had to keep typing in order to stop crying.

Yoga - I wrote about poses on the mat, living yoga off the mat, and even a couple posts about the actual yoga mat.

Kids - last summer was my summer spent riding in the back of an ambulance to LeBonheur Children's Hospital where kid #3 would end up in traction, surgery, casts and weekly doctor visits. Just as he was finishing up his summer in a cast, kid #5 fell and we began the process all over again. Looking back over those blogs now I'm reminded how  the rest of the kids came together with concern and compassion. For a moment in time the sibling rivalry and bickering stopped and we as a family were there for each other.

Career - I've been very fortunate to to have had some success in my yoga teaching. I've been to Los Angeles and San Diego to train with some amazing yoga mentors. I even got to spend an an amazing weekend with John Friend  where I can honestly say I met some of the nicest yogi's ever.

Cancer - when this blog began, I had a healthy mom who was happy I was finally getting back to writing. Shortly after I started writing again, she was diagnosed with cancer. Just five months later she was dead. Looking back at the posts I wrote about mom being sick, I see the increasing fear in my writing. My posts about mom began in a "well doesn't this suck" kind of way. They quickly became more serious and more powerful. Some of the hardest posts I've written have turned out to be my most read posts. I've been told my writing has helped other people going through their own difficulties. That's one of the best compliments a writer can receive.

Finding the writer within me - Starting this blog reminded me of and returned me to my first love. I may have forgotten for awhile, but I can't not write any better than I can't not breathe. It's part of who I am. And in a surprise turn of events, my YogaLifeWay blog here has turned into  recurring posts on  Elephant Journal. You can read my Elephant posts by clicking the links on the side listed here -->
under the Elephant logo. (Please click the links! I promise it's more good stuff.) My latest post sort of takes everything I've written about here in the past 9 months and applies the lessons it's all taught me.

I had no idea what was going to happen when I started this blog. I have no idea what is yet to come. I'm pretty sure more tears, more laughs and more lessons. I'm honored that so many are reading my posts here and over at Elephant. The only way I can keep doing this though is to keep my intention the same. I'm writing to me, for me.

Thank you for joining me on my journey.

Book Whore Snob vs. The Kindle

Evil technology! My resistance
is weakening.

I want a Kindle.

No, I don't.

I'm a book person. Nothing can take the place of opening a new book for the first time, cracking the spine, the smell of a new book, the smell of an old forgotten book, turning the pages, etc. I'm a literary traditionalist and in this area will not give in to technology.

But, I do kinda sorta really want a Kindle.

Tonight was date night with the hubs. Don't get too excited. In my life date night means we drop off one or more kids at their assorted activities, then we go somewhere for a quick dinner where we share an appetizer, spend our last remaining minutes browsing a book store, and then go pick up assorted kids and come home.

Glamorous, huh?

OK, back to the Kindle story.

So we are walking through the bookstore and I decide nothing can replace a book store full of possibilities. It's been a semi-secret long desire of mine to someday see my name on a book jacket. A book jacket, not an e-book. How would I have a book signing for an e-book? Confession - I've actually spent time thinking about this.

My arms are soon overflowing with books I've picked up. Then I start thinking about packing so many books to take with me on our vacation next week. It would be so much easier to just pack the Kindle with pre-loaded books.

And, hey, it's more environmentally friendly to read e-books. I'd be saving trees. That's it, I've decided to put the books down and come home and order my Kindle!

But I just can't make myself push that "order now" button. Yes the extra shipping I'd have to pay to get it here before we leave for vacation is part of it. But, it's just not a book.  That's it, I've decided I'm a book person and will not buy a Kindle.

To take my mind off this nonsense I log on to read my nightly blogs. And what do you know? My South American friend Rachel wrote a post today about how she's in love with her Kindle!

Thanks a lot Rachel's Rantings of Rio! Now I'm back to wanting a Kindle!

This whole thing is making me slightly schizophrenic.

I like being a book whore snob who can turn pages and highlight favorite passages. But I'm tempted by the instant gratification of wi-fi downloads.

What to do? What to do?

All this fretting over how to read books is leaving me very little time for the reading of books. And forget about the actual writing of a new book. Until someone tells me I can have a book signing even for an e-book I'm keeping the literary genius in my head to myself.

That's the story I'm going with anyway.

My MSOD Girls Make the Blog & Make Me Smile

I've been working all year with a group of teenage girls at a local dance school. Giggly, goofy, hormonal, flaky, beautiful, wonderful teenage girls. They are my last class on Monday night - my looonnggg day of work. They are #7 of 7 classes I teach that day. So by the time I see them I am tired and out of energy.

And then they start laughing. Or telling me stories of what happened at school that day. Or asking me about my teen boys (whom they are never allowed to meet). And suddenly I'm not so tired.

I'm Facebook friends with a couple of them and a few of them are YogaLifeWay blog readers. As the year wore on they kept asking "when will you blog about us Miss Jennifer" and "hey maybe I'll make the blog tonight."

Well, lovely girls, tonight is your night!

Our focus this year was on building core strength, preventing injuries and applying muscle control and isolation to their dance moves. Basically, we made their jumps higher, the splits longer and their pirouettes prettier.

As we got closer to the end of the year and they were working harder on perfecting their dances for recital, I lightened up a bit and didn't always require we do pilates hundreds or full vinyasas.

Instead we choreographed a yoga dance. My only rule was the dance had to be all (mostly) yoga poses. What started out as a silly little one night only diversion, turned into weeks of rehearsal and even turned me into a wanna-be choreographer. I couldn't hear our song on the radio without thinking of new yoga poses/dance moves.

By the last night our fun little activity turned into an impromptu show as the parents lined up outside the classroom window to watch. And, yes, I was quite proud when the dance school director called it "a way cool modern dance number."

So, without further adieu, I present to you the girls of MSOD Yoga/Pilates class and their yoga dance.

A Full Plate, An Empty Garden & Another Post About Finding Balance

I will not be tending a backyard vegetable garden this year.

Shocking, I know.

I live in the South, my house sits on an acre and a half, and I already have the boxes built from last years failed garden attempt. Really, there's no reason I shouldn't have seeds in the ground already.

Except I don't want to.

The more people asked me if I had my garden in yet, the more I realized I don't enjoy gardening.  The past few years I've planted, and failed at, vegetable gardens. I realize now I was doing it out of a self-imposed sense of obligation.

I don't enjoy fighting the bugs, the heat, the drought, the weeds. Getting dirt under my nails is not therapeutic to me.

To some of you this may seem like no big deal and not worthy of a blog post. To those of you not getting it, let me remind you --- I live in the south.

My garden never looked like this!

A vegetable garden is kind of a law down here.

Between the kids, teaching yoga, writing and building a business my spare time is very limited. More than a few people have told me lately I'm too busy and taking on too much.

They are right. I know that. And I really am making attempts to restructure my life for more balance and less stress.

I mean, really, isn't that what I teach in my yoga classes?

Yoga is about finding the edge between pushing yourself and backing off when the pose is too much. I remind my classes that flowing through multiple rounds of Surya Namaskara (sun salutations) can be fun and invigorating. But sometimes what our body really needs is to stop and rest in balasana (childs pose).

Balance, baby, balance.

I need to be mindful of where my attention is given. I need to be sure that my energy is given to only those things that bring me joy or benefit my family.

Yes I realize that not having a garden puts me at a real disadvantage should the apocalypse hit. But I'm pretty sure it's going to take more than a pantry of canned green beans to fight roving bands of zombies.

And yes, I'm aware the price of food is getting higher each day as oil prices continue to rise.  I'll be more intentional this year in getting to our local farmer's markets to find locally grown produce.

And I won't mind at all that there is a little more open space in the yard this year. More room for the kids and dogs to run!

Learning To Say No - Enjoying The Results

Balance. I talk about it. I study it. I strive for it in my work, my life, with my kids, with my friends. Why is it so hard to find some balance in my life?

I've been working really hard the past few months to build my yoga business to cater to a more daytime clientele and let go of my evening classes and clients.

It's been tough. I don't give up classes or say no to work offers. But I've been fortunate in that as I've gotten busier during the day I've been able to turn over some of my nighttime classes.

And tonight it paid off.

I didn't have to rush to make dinner. I had time to walk the dogs. And this evening I sat outside on my front porch swing and watched the neighborhood kids play basketball in my driveway.

I've had requests to add some evening specialty sessions that I've had second thoughts about saying no, not at this time. And two private clients have asked for evening appointments that I've had to turn down.

It's really hard to say no.

But tonight I'm so glad I did.









I think as moms it's really tough to make sure we are giving 110% to our families, our work, our homes and our selves. It's not surprising that most women I know almost always put themselves last - if even at all.

I still have some uncertainties about turning down good job offers. But I'm pretty confident a few more nights like tonight will help me feel much better about my decision.

Yoga on the Soccer Field

Click here to read my latest Elephant Journal post A Yoga Mom Could Kick A Soccer Mom's Asana

An alternate title I was working on was "How I Once Again Made Sure I Didn't Fit In With The Other Moms"

And you see those two cute soccer players in the picture? They are mine! Making their public debut, I present Kid #4 and Kid #5.

Freakin' Yoga: I Love/Hate The Way It Makes Me Feel

This post was meant to be published last night, but due to the Blogger outage was delayed.  

Warning: I’m in a pissy mood.

And when I’m in a mood it’s best for everyone to just leave me alone. Alone. Don’t talk to me, look at me or try to make me feel better.

Every person, every animal and every thing should just leave me alone. 

Yet over there in the corner it sits. Taunting me. Daring me.  It knows if I walk over to the corner of my room, pick it up, and sit on it I’ll feel better.

My yoga mat.

How many times have I been mad/sad/unhappy/frustrated/depressed/hormonal and stepping on the mat has healed me. Taking the time to sit with my emotions, allow them, express them if necessary and then breathe them away will rid my being of this negativity. 

I always feel better when I work my yoga. Always.

But I don’t want to right now. I want to wallow a bit longer. I know it’s not productive. I know its not healthy. I know it’s ridiculous but this is my pissy mood and I will enjoy it as I see fit. 

So leave me alone.

The yoga mat is still there. I swear it knows I’m trying to ignore it.

Damn that yoga mat.