Saturday, September 25, 2010

So Very Weary

I’m tired. Really, really tired. I’m so tired that when I thought we were out of mustard I broke down and cried.

This week has been an especially exhausting week. My 7 year old Danny fell off the monkey bars and broke his wrist which led to pulling an all nighter in LeBonheur Children’s Hospital emergency room.  The next day I was at least half way smart and found subs for my group classes. Yet being the trooper I’m supposed to be, I kept my appointments with my personal clients.  I’m not normally a soda drinker, but I was definitely pounding down the Diet Pepsi as I drove to our scheduled sessions.

Last night me and Danny curled up together and went to bed early, yet were up many times throughout the night with him crying in pain and me reassuring him I was still next to him and everything was going to be ok.

I’ve never been much of a napper. Even when I was pregnant I just couldn’t lay down and rest. There is always something to do, I can’t waste time just sleeping! Right now I'm writing this blog instead of resting. Why?

In the book Something More, author Sarah Ban Breathnach says a woman should “never make a major decision until after you’ve taken a nap.” That’s good advice and should probably include these ridiculous things I felt compelled to do the past two days while running on just a few hours sleep:

  • Read HTML code while I tried to update my website. Let me just say now that reading HTML code fully rested is not easy or enjoyable.
  • Planning the next weeks dinner menu – why can't my brain think past tacos?
  • Sending out the monthly YogaLifeWay newsletter – suddenly I’ve forgotten how to add an attachment to an email.
  • Trying to book an airline flight for next month – although I think this one isn’t just me being tired. The prices really were $200 cheaper just a couple days ago.
  • Weed the garden – that should have been relaxing right? Except I didn’t see the giant ant pile I was kneeling on and when I accidentally pulled out a handful of Lilly bulbs the tears started flowing again.
  • Dust, vacuum, do dishes and other household chores – I admit with 2 dogs and 6 kids I’m pretty insistent on vacumming daily. But really, it could have waited a day.

This morning as I was driving to my monthly Yoga in the Park class I was feeling very down and discouraged.  I got to the park a few minutes early and was able to just sit and breathe and do nothing. As people started to show up for class, my energy began to return.  My fellow yogi’s thought they were there to be led in a flowing yoga class. What they didn’t know was their energy was sustaining me.  Yes my mat was in the front and they were following my cues, but I was letting their breath and energy lead me.

I wonder if they noticed we had a few extra moments of child’s pose today? I wonder if their bodies enjoyed the stillness as much as mine?

It’s only afternoon yet dinner is already started and I’ve let everyone know it’s an early-to-bed night. I need some sleep. It’s time to take care of me for a bit. Because yellow mustard really isn’t worth crying over.

1 comment:

  1. I cried once because we were out of milk and Chris asked me to pick it up. Sure I was pregnant. But I totally understand being so tired that the smallest thing just sends you over. The good news is, I think when you cry your body releases some neuro whatever that makes you feel better.