Thursday, August 1, 2013

One Year: Loss, Learning and a New Life

It's been exactly a year. One year since one phone call changed the one thing I always thought I knew to be true. One year ago today I found out my husband was having an affair. One phone call that led to one divorce and 365 days of heartache.

I've given a lot of thought to what I've learned this year. I certainly forgot a lot of my previous teachings during my darker moments. But I know enough that in everything there is a lesson to learn.

  • When someones actions don't match their words, always believe their actions. Words hurt. Hateful words can drive a stake through your heart. But a persons actions are what cause the most long-term damage.
  • Like Robert Frost said, Life Goes On. When I got that phone call my world stopped. But life around me continued. At the time, I didn't understand how that was possible. Now I see that is exactly how it's supposed to be. Life goes on. And thank God it does.
  • Asking "Why?" is pointless. I'll never get the answer I'm looking for or the one that will satisfy me. In my heart I already know why. 
  • You can't control anyone else. No matter how vested I may be in the outcome, it's ultimately not solely up to me. Other people are going to make choices that affect me, and I have no choice but to accept that and do my best with the outcome.
  • Addiction destroys families. Addiction is selfish and manipulative. Addiction can't be cured by love.  The addicted person isn't just harming himself, he's leaving a wake of destruction behind him that becomes the burden for the innocent to bear. 
  • I know nothing. All the books I've read, all the teachers I've studied under, it's nothing but a drop in the bucket of wisdom. I'm just waking up every morning doing the best I can with that days knowledge. 
  • You just don't know what the Universe has in store for you. Life takes sudden and unexpected turns that may knock you off your feet, or may be the helping hand you need.
  • In times of trouble you learn who your friends are. People I never would have expected stepped up this year when I most needed. From forcing me into the car to the doctor to get help, to taking care of my children, to laying in bed with me and holding me while I cried, my friends were the ones who never lost faith in me.
And one more lesson that I knew, but had forgotten. Laughter really is the best medicine. Many times this year I thought my laugh would never return. Then many times it was laughter through tears. Now, I am grateful for genuine laughter.

I've written before about what a wonderful staff I have. Today they outdid themselves. Knowing today had the potential to be an emotionally difficult day, they had a surprise waiting for me when I got in to work.

Happy "You Found Out Your Husband is Having
an Affair' Anniversary.
How could you not laugh at that kind
of celebration?

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