Sister: How come u dont write ur blog much anymore?
Me: I'm too f'ing tired
Sister: Oh. Maybe need to make some changes?
Me: Should I quit work or quit kids first?
Sister: Go to bed Jennifer. You need sleep.
I do need sleep.
I also need a housekeeper, cook, chauffeur and personal assistant.
I know anyone who reads this who is also a mom is thinking "suck it up buttercup". It's part of being a mom, quit your bitching and do what you gotta do.
And most of the time that's my attitude too.
But lately, I don't know. I'm overtired and a bit overwhelmed.
Part of it - as usual - is my own doing. I just can't say no to new work opportunities. A constant theme in my life is saying I'm not going to work as much at night. And then I continue to work an average of 4 nights and 6 days per week.
Well now I've got 3 kids playing soccer, 1 in hip hop dance and 1 playing rugby. That's a lot of practices to get to and of course the practices are in the evenings - evenings when I'm working.
I was so frustrated last week over how to get everyone where they needed to be I seriously considered letting kid #1 get his license before our previously agreed upon date so that he could help with the driving logistics. I soon came to my senses and realized that wasn't the best solution.
Most nights I'm teaching more than one class. So I'm gone from after school until after the kids should be in bed. That means we've been doing a lot more drive thru dinners. So our nutritional standards have plummetted and my checking account has taken a negative hit too.
Many in my small but close circle have asked me lately what's wrong and encouraged me to take a break. Last week I was talking about all this with my close friend and mentor Wanda and she also said I need to slow down and stop making 26 hours in every day.
Me: But if I'm not working what will I do?
Wanda: Anything you want.
Me: No, seriously, if I'm not at work am I supposed to sit home and eat bon bons all day?
Wanda: If you want to. Or maybe you could just be you for awhile and not super woman?
Me: But if I'm not super woman who am I?
Wanda: Well won't that be interesting to find out?
UGH! I hate when I get my own yogic teachings get thrown back in my face. Although I'm actually quite grateful I have people to remind me to slow down when I get moving too fast.
However, I'd also be very grateful to a housekeeper and personal assistant.
Yogas Citta Vritti Nirodhah
Yoga is the restraint of the modifications of the mind.
Yoga Sutras of Patanjali 1.2