Dear Matthew

 

Dear Matthew

I had a dream that this is all a mistake and you’re still alive. And in the dream you are really, really mad at us for planning a funeral. As much as I want it to be, I know this isn’t a bad dream. But I do hope you are happy with how we’ve chosen to celebrate you today and all the people that are here for you.

That night you called me, you made me promise that I wouldn’t be mad at you and made me promise that I wouldn’t blame myself. I promise I am not mad at you.

I know how long you had fought and how tired you were. I know you wanted nothing more than to be healthy and happy.  I never gave up hope for that day to come, but I understand that you had. And I hope you are finally at peace. 

As for the promise not to blame myself, well I’m going to need you to give me some time on that one. But I’ll keep my promise to you and I’ll get there. 

Looking through all the old pictures has brought back so many memories. Like when Maggie was born and you decided it was your job to rock her to sleep every night. You didn’t want to fly home that summer to spend time with Mimi and Grandy because you didn’t know who would be home to rocker Maggie and I had to convince you that I was capable of handling it. 

I also remembered the time in New Orleans when we lived in base housing and the common area was right behind us where all the neighborhood kids gathered after dinner to play games. Something had happened to John and we heard him cry out. You ran out of the house faster than I did to get to him. You were ready to either help him or go after whoever had hurt him. 

It’s always been Jennifer and the six kids. I’m not sure what to do now that it’s Jennifer and five. 

As the oldest of the six kids, most of our pictures are of you with at least a couple of your siblings. You took your job as a big brother seriously and as everyone got older you always told me how proud you were of each of them. 

These are the kinds of memories that make me smile when I think of you. When anyone asks me to tell them about you, l will tell them how much you loved baseball and music and reading. 

We have pictures of you in a lot of different baseball uniforms over the years. And a lot of memories of you hitting the ball far into the outfield. One year we got to go see the Cubs vs the Pirates at Wrigley Field. I think that trip was better than Disney World to you. It was so cold that day and I remember the look of disappointment on your face when I said we had to leave early. I’d give anything to go back and finish watching the game with you now no matter how cold it was. 

And you didn’t just love music, you loved the poetry within the lyrics. Sometimes when things weren’t good or I hadn’t heard from you in awhile, you’d just text me the link to a song. I’d listen and know what you were trying to tell me. 

Your books meant everything to you.  We mailed boxes of them to you when you moved away and we still have a couple boxes in the attic.  You were so smart and wanted to be a writer yourself one day. I know from the journals you shared with me that you already were an amazing writer. 

These are the kinds of memories we will share when we talk about you. And we will always tell the funniest story of the time you came home and acted very suspicious going straight upstairs for two days in a row. Finally you admitted that you found a kitten in a ditch, snuck it into the house and that kitten was now lost in the walls of the  attic. Well after another week and a borrowed racoon trap, we finally found the lost kitten in the attic.  I told you we couldn’t keep it and it had to go. And as I walked away I overheard you say, “but I think I can make it love me”.  It broke my heart to hear you say that. The cat is now older and fatter and she is very well taken care of for you at home. 

I wish you would have believed you never had to make anyone love you. You were loved so much more than you realized. I hope you can see us here today and everyone who has come out to share how much they loved you. 

Myth vs. Fact: How Yoga Helps Detox Your Body

The body’s detoxification systems are designed to run without any external forces. A regular yoga practice, including vigorous asana and pranayama, as part of an overall wellness plan, can help the natural detox system run more efficiently

Other ways to help your body run at a prime level include:

Limit your intake of high-fat foods and alcohol to maintain a healthy liver.

Drink plenty of water to help the digestive tract flow smoothly and to eliminate waste.

Replace prepackaged food with whole food.

Limit or avoid chemicals in self-care products such as lotion and makeup.

Participate in a regular exercise routine.

Click here to read Myth vs. Fact: How Yoga Helps Detox Your

Garden Time

I had decided this year I was not going to do my front gardens.

It's too time consuming. It's too hot. I have to water every night because of this God-awful Memphis heat. It's too expensive buying mulch and flowers. I have too much else to do. I hate the weeding part of it all.

But each day as I drove into my driveway and walked up the steps to the house it just looked awful. The gardens were overgrown with weeds. There was grass growing between the sidewalk.

It looked pitiful.

So about 11pm last night I decided today was the day and I was going to make a garden again this year.

I started about 9am when it was only about 85 degrees outside. I took my first break at 11:30 when it hit 95. I kept working outside all day between distractions and other obligations.

I was hot. I was dirty. I was bug bitten. I had a headache from forgetting to eat.

But about 6:30pm I was finally finished.  And I was happy.

There are so many projects inside the house that need completed (big ones like needing to drywall the ceiling from the heater leak this winter) that depress me when I look at them, that I wanted to at least smile when I first came home after a long day at work.

Even the kids said the front looks so much nicer now.

Next up, make the back yard look nice again.

And fix the hole in the ceiling from the heater leak :(

A Note From An Old Friend

I've been silent for months.

For all the usual reasons; work, time, energy, lack of creativity, Netflix.

And then I got a very unexpected card in the mail and I've been buzzing ever since.

My old friend Kat McNally of dilettante & druid sent me the most lovely card all the way from Australia. It even had one those neat overseas postages on it. And Kat is so cool that she has her own seal for her cards that my kids were fascinated by.

The card was random and completely unexpected.

And an absolute lovely end to my day. Kat remembered me! She had been thinking of me! All the way from Australia!

But, Kat also send me some magical fairy dust. I've been buzzing ever since wanting to write again. My brain won't shut up this week about getting back to writing book #2. I was even up at 5am today on my yoga mat!

I'm not sure what magic Kat has in Australia, but I'm forever grateful that she has shared it with me.

Yoga for Addiction: 7 Ways Yoga Can Support Your Treatment Program

7 Ways Yoga Can Complement a 12-Step Strategy

Yoga makes a natural companion to 12-step programs in a variety of other ways as well:

1. Teaching pranayama, or controlled breathing, to gain control of thoughts and emotions
2. Emphasizing the spiritual connection through meditation and prayer
3. Gaining a sense of self-discipline to avoid impulsive or negative actions
4. Releasing negative energy through movement with the asanas
5. Developing a sense of accomplishment leading to increased self-esteem and decreased feelings of inadequacy
6. Creating a stronger, healthier body leading to a stronger, healthier mind
7. Developing a connection to other like-minded yogis in recovery

Click here to read Yoga For Addiction: 7 Ways Yoga Can Support Your Treatment Program

A Look Back 2017

In 2013 I wrote my own version of a bucket list. I've mostly forgotten about it, but every now and then I remember to take a look at the list and see where I'm at. As in years past, I'm pleasantly surprised to see that I can cross off a few more items now!

1. Travel more - Our family vacations these past couple years have been to military graduations. Early 2016 we toured Chicago and went to a Cubs game to see Kid 2 graduate Navy boot camp. Later that same year we spent time up in the Ozark Mountains area of Missouri during Kid 3's Army boot camp graduation. This summer we spent a fabulous weekend in Charleston, SC playing in the ocean, riding jet skis and touring historic downtown after Kid 2's graduation from Naval Nuclear Engineering School.                                                                                                          The past couple summers we have also travelled to Iowa for my girls national dance competition. (Grand National Champions 2017 thank you very much!)                                                                                                  This past August the kids and I drove up to Kentucky to see the total solar eclipse. It was simply amazing!
2. Dance more 
3. Ride in a hot air balloon - I had forgotten this was on my list. Every year our little town hosts a Goat Days Festival (read about the best yoga class ever here). This year the festival had hot air balloon rides and since I was teaching Goat Yoga (the best yoga class ever!), my and the kids got passes for a free ride. We only went up about 50 feet in the air but it was still pretty exciting. 
4. Finally find a sun dress that doesn't make my butt look huge -2017 is the year I learned to dress for my body shape without hating my body shape. (Finally right?) A job promotion at work took me out of sneakers and yoga pants and in to professional work attire. Fortunately I took the advice of a friend and walked into a store out of my price range to shop for a new look. The sales woman asked if I needed help and I told her not only do I need help is she ready for all  the help I need?! I stayed in the fitting room while she brought me outfits to try on, taking all the stress away from me. She taught me more about how to shop for clothes in that one afternoon than I think I've ever learned.
5. Skydive
6. See the Grand Canyon
7. Not wait for special occasions to dress up - Although I sometimes miss the ease of wearing black yoga pants and sneakers every day, most days I enjoy dressing nice to go to work. I even went to our local Merle Norman and let the shop owner paint me up in adult make up. Every morning I carefully put on my make up with the tricks she taught me. 
8. Swim with dolphins
9. Go on a cruise
10. Whale watching - written about January 1, 2015
11. Take an aerobics class in Los Angeles with Richard Simmons at his Slimmons Gym
12. Ride a cable car in San Francisco
13. Visit all 50 states - Iowa, Kentucky and South Carolina 
14. Have more fresh flowers in my house 
15. Take a surfing lesson
16. Take ballroom dance lessons - written about April 17, 2013
17. Be more spontaneous 
18. Publish my book -  Published and available for sale here! 
19. Attend Summer Solstice in Times Square - written about January 1, 2015
20. Finish my 500 hour RYT
21. Get back to a regular yoga practice again- I'm always planning on getting back to a regular practice. Someday
22. Get back to a semi-regular meditation practice again 
23. Stress less about finances
24. Make time to read more 
25. Redecorate my kitchen - written about January 1, 2015
26. Take more pictures 
27. Walk more - I walked/ran the St Jude Half Marathon! For real! 
28. Get a Labradoodle dog - technically I don't own a Ladradoodle. However, I get to dog sit a Labradoodle a few times a year for some friends. 
29. Be able to afford a house cleaner
30. Watch my kids grow up to be healthy, productive adults - Kid 1 is living on his own with some good, sober roommates. Kid 2 is a Naval Nuclear Engineer. Kid 3 is in the Army National Guard and working a full time job with great growth potential. That's 3 productive adults so far! I'm 50% to my goal of 6 healthy and able young adults. 
31. Stay healthy into my old age
32. Walk the beach more - After driving 10 hours to Charleston, SC the first thing we did is drive 30 minutes further to get my feet in the sand and run through the waves.
33. Take more chances
34. Attend more live theater 
35. Find a way to combine what I love to do with a way to support myself financially - although I'm not financially stable like I want to be, I can say I am making a living doing what I love to do
36. Laugh more 
37. See my book for sale on Amazon - Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom
38. Be debt free
39. Care a little less what people think
40. Paint a baseball field onto my backyard - I don't know why I haven't crossed this off the list before. But I've had a baseball field mowed into my backyard for a couple summers now. 
41. Take the kids to Disney World
42. Find balance 
43. Be happy- I was asked recently if I'm happy. Of course I have times of worry and still a lot of financial stress and fear, but overall, yes I am happy. 

The year the Cubs won the World Series

Folly Beach, SC

Hot air balloons rides at night

Iowa

Not really our own Labradoodle with
definitely our own rescue pup

Grand National Champions

Total solar eclipse, Kentucky

Folly Beach, SC

High Blood Pressure: How Yoga Can Help Stabilize Blood Pressure Naturally

The most recent update from the Centers for Disease Control says 70 million Americans, about 29% of the population, have diagnosed high blood pressure, known medically as hypertension. Hypertension is diagnosed when the top number, systolic, of a blood pressure reading is higher than 140 and the lower number, diastolic, higher than 90.

Hypertension increases the risk of heart attack and stroke, two of the top three causes of death in the United States.

Although systolic blood pressure tends to rise naturally as people age due to increasing stiffness of large arteries and long-term build-up of plaque, there are ways to naturally combat elevated blood pressure, including yoga.

Click here to read the rest of High Blood Pressure: How Yoga Can Help 

Stabilize Blood Pressure Naturally

I Went MIA But I Ran a Half Marathon!

Two months!

It's been two months since my last post. That just makes me sad and a bit ashamed.

So to catch you up, here's what I've been doing:

I'm still working my new job and it's still going well, except October was budget time and I've never been responsible for a budget that large before and how do I know how much revenue each department will bring in during 2018 and oh my god what if I budget wrong and this is really stressing me out and then I got sick, just my yearly Southern fall upper respiratory thing but then kid 5 had a serious injury and we were in LeBonheur Children's Hospital for two days and then literally the next day Kid 4 had a very serious injury and she was admitted to LeBonheur Children's Hospital for two days and I didn't even go to work for a couple days but I have the best co-workers in the world and it wasn't even an issue and we are still running to follow up appointments and Kid 4 is still having signs of spinal chord trauma which is pretty scary and then because of all that I forgot I was sick so then I got really sick and gave in and paid $150 for the doctor to tell me I was sick and prescribe an antibiotic but I guess it was too late at that point because a few days later I had to pay another $150 for a different doctor to tell me I was really really sick and I needed a stronger antibiotic  so I came home and slept for 12 hours straight and then 5 days later I RAN A HALF MARATHON!

Along Riverside Drive. This is the downhill part
where I was blissfully unaware of the hill
coming up next. 

I really did it. I ran the St. Jude Half Marathon.

And actually crossed the finish line!

The night before a friend and fellow personal trainer texted me and said "just remember don't get caught up in all the excitement and start out too fast. Go at your own pace."

Good advice.

That I totally ignored and took off like a bat out of hell.

It was really exciting to be running the streets of Memphis with people lined up all along the way to cheer us on.

I was feeling really good and had my best split at mile 5 which is the dreaded Beale Street hill. But I powered up that hill like it was nothing and at the very top got a text from Kid 2 who had been tracking me on the St Jude Race Tracking app.

 Heck yeah! I am moving baby. I got this! But it's also about that point I realized I had got caught up in the excitement and I needed to slow down. My broken foot from last year was starting to remind me that it never really healed properly and it was starting to get warmer outside.

Remember, I hadn't trained for a month since getting sick and dealing with the kids injuries. My last training day had been on an unusually cold day and when I left my house at 6am the day of the race I was dressed for a chilly day.

But at this point I still felt good.

Running along Beale Street

And then, about mile 8 reality set in. Holy hell I still have five more miles to go. And my own race GPS was telling me I was a half mile ahead of every race marker I saw so I was getting really discouraged and a bit pissed off.

Why did I even decide to do this anyway. I'm not a runner. I hate running. This sucks.

About mile nine another text from Kid 2

I did not make it under three hours because those last four miles just sucked. Like sucked big time. The route took us through the less interesting parts of Memphis where there weren't as many people lined up cheering you on.

Honestly what happened was I got in my head here.  We were on the same stretch of road for two miles so it felt like I was getting nowhere, I was tired, I was hot and I was ready to be done.

Finally I could see the mile marker 13 up ahead and I could see AutoZone Park, so I knew the finish line was getting close. I was trying to will my feet to go faster when all of a sudden my phone went crazy with notifications.

It was messages from eight of my lifeguards and two of my kids telling me how proud they were and congratulations and I was almost there. What are the odds that all those messages came through at that exact moment when I needed the encouragement the most?

I powered through and I crossed that finish line like a boss!

I heard someone call my name as I came
through the finish. She snapped this pic of me as I
officially crossed.

I DID IT. I RAN A HALF MARATHON!

And I even have the medal to prove it.

Half Marathon Training: 10 Miles

Yesterday I taught my first class in more than two months and it felt so good to be teaching again! I filled in for the new HIIT class at my YMCA. HIIT is High Intensity Interval Training and we all were dripping sweat by the time we walked out of class.

It was fabulous!

Today I did my 10-mile training run in preparation for the St Jude Half Marathon. Although just a training run, I set a new PR for myself. PR is running lingo for "personal record." My time was great and the ten miles felt good.

Tonight, though, I feel like this:

I'm A Crappy Mom: Part (I've Lost Track By Now)

Alternative Title -- I Regret Being Such a Bitch To My Mom

Today began like this:

My 16 year old daughter mad at me because I won't let her take MY iPad on her Mexican cruise she is leaving on in an hour. She storms through the house and on her way out, says to her brother, I hope I never come back!

Being the calm rational mom I am I go storming out, fling open the door, and yell "You ungrateful little bitch! I hope you have a good time on your trip." And then I slam the door hard enough that the windows rattle. 

Yep, I went there.

Kid 4 is acting like a perfectly normal, age appropriate 16 year old girl.

And I'm not handling it very well.

Aside from her general ungrateful, bratty, roll-her-eyes at me attitude, she's a good kid. Straight A's in all honors classes, dances 5 nights/week, teaches dance 2 nights/week, not boy crazy, responsible and basically reliable kid. 

Her teachers love her. Other parents love her.

I actually enjoy spending time with her. 

Except when I want to just run after her, grab her long blonde pony tail and yank her onto the ground and pummel some sense in to her. 

I do understand that at 16 years old, she is genetically designed to be a horrible human being.  I do understand that at 48 years old I should have enough maturity, wisdom and parenting skills not to buy into her 16 year old behavior.

But apparently I don't.

It's almost like she turns me into a 16 year old bratty person too. 

I'm mean really. She is leaving for a five-day cruise to Mexico over Fall Break with her friends. I will be home working. Her brothers and sister will be home bored all week because they don't get to go anywhere and I'll be at work.  

Would "gee, thanks Mom" really kill her once in awhile?

She makes me feel like nothing I do, nothing I can give her, is ever good enough. She has brought me to tears more than a couple times. 

I know we will eventually get through this. And one day she will look back and regret acting this way towards me. And one day I'll see this is nothing more than typical strife between teen daughters and their mothers. 

But until that day, all I can do is try and remind myself that she is very much her mother's daughter.

What It Feels Like To Be A (Half) Marathon Runner

My hips hurt.

My hamstrings are tighter than they have ever been.

My yoga practice is suffering greatly due to lack of time because of training runs multiple times per week.

My yoga practice is suffering greatly because my flexibility has left the country because of all the running.

Reminder: I'm using the word "running" very loosely here.

I've gone through multiple rolls of KT Tape on my broken foot and an old injury on my knee.

I haven't had time to do any strength training in 6 weeks because any fitness time goes to training runs.

Have I mentioned how much my hips hurt?

I took a yoga workshop today and the instructor asked what happened that my hips were so tight? Oh, just training for St Jude I told her.

I'm not sure if it's just here in Memphis or if it's marathon runners everywhere that refer to the St Jude Marathon as just "training for St Jude." This is a BIG race amongst the marathon and half marathon community. Everyone knows it.

There will be real, legit runners there. The kind of runners who are qualifying to run the Boston or New York City Marathon. There will also be the groups wearing funny costumes and leisurely strolling their way along the race route.

I'll be somewhere in the middle. Well, probably closer to the back of the middle!

Practice More Yoga, More Often, For A Healthier Happier Life

What yogis have long believed to be true, that yoga is a fountain of youth, science has recently begun to prove.

• Practicing more physical poses related to improved sleep, diet, and a lower BMI.
• Practicing more breath work and meditation led to increased mindfulness and subjective well-being.
• A frequent practice of gentle restorative poses was associated with higher fruit and vegetable consumption, higher rates of vegetarianism and lower alcohol consumption.

Click here to read the rest of 

Practice More Yoga, More Often, For A Healthier Happier Life

Best Yoga Class EVER

Today I taught a yoga class to 63 people. 63!

And six baby goats.

Yep, I have officially joined the latest yoga craze and today taught my first goat yoga class.

Best. Yoga. Class. Ever.

Our local parks & rec department hosts the Goat Days Festival every year. I have no idea why my small town celebrates Goat Days, except I guess because there are a lot of goats around here. They usually call me to teach at local events, but this was a different call. And one that I didn't hesitate to say yes to!

I really wasn't sure what to expect though. I figured we would have a decent turn out. Probably my regular yoga people and a few people there for the goats.

I never expected 63!

Before class started I introduced myself, asked who had any yoga experience and asked about any health conditions I needed to be aware of. All the usual questions at the beginning of a yoga class.

It was probably 60% people who had some yoga experience and 40% who were just there to try it out.

But definitely 100% of the people were really there for the goats.

We began the yoga just as the baby goats were led into the pen. And I immediately lost everyones

attention. I told them no worries, I know you are really here for the goats so just have fun.

And we had so much fun!

The goats just wandered around while we practiced. People would stop to pet the goats or take goat selfies.

The farmers that brought the baby goats did a great job making sure the goats made their way throughout the big crowd by placing small  amounts of goat food on peoples yoga mats.

The biggest question I've gotten all day since goat yoga is "did the goat pee or poop on anyone"?

At the very end of class, one goat did pee on a woman's mat. But she had a good sense of humor about it and decided she will just buy herself a new yoga mat.

I saw a couple goats dropping goat pellets as they walked, but fortunately goat poop isn't like cow poop. It's smaller and doesn't stink!

The next question is when am I going to teach goat yoga again?

As soon as possible! The farm owners told me they have two more goats back at the farm who will be giving birth in a couple months so hopefully later this fall I will get to play with some baby goats and teach yoga again.

Teaching yoga at special events always reminds me of how much I love teaching and how much I am meant to teach. A friend took this picture below and said I looked so pretty. No, what you are seeing is happiness. I got to do what I love and teach yoga, to a large group of people who might never get to experience yoga and there were cute baby goats to play with.

My happiness cup is overflowing today.

Yoga For Toned Arms: Not Just Push Ups

As both a yoga teacher and a personal trainer, I spend equal time in the quiet of the yoga studio as well as in the noisy gym environment. Avid gym goers often ask me how best to build strength without looking too bulky. Of course, I recommend yoga.

While strength training in the gym requires the use of heavier weight to overload the muscles, yoga uses pure body weight to provide a more balanced and functional approach to strengthening and toning muscles. Yoga also has the advantage of toning both large and small muscle groups in balance with each other. Traditional weight training isolates one muscle group at a time, potentially leading to imbalance and injury.

Click here to read the rest of Yoga For Tones Arms - Not Just Push Ups

Half Marathon Training Update

It is going surprisingly well!

So far.

A few months ago I decided to run the St Jude Half Marathon. I kept it pretty quiet at first, because, well, I wasn't actually sure I could complete a half marathon. But I had a training plan and I planned on at least trying it.

Then word slowly got out and the real runners I know got all excited and started inviting me into their running club events.  Of course I want to be one of the cool kids so I bought myself a fancy running belt and crazy expensive socks. I definitely need new sneakers, but those will have to wait a bit longer until I save up some money.

I am about six weeks into training and I dare say I am actually enjoying it. My longest run so far has only been six miles, so there are still plenty of miles for me to regret this. But I'm getting a lot more confident that I will actually finish like this:

My broken foot isn't giving me too much trouble. I tape it up real good for the longer ones and that definitely helps. 

Since I'm feeling a lot more confident now I am readjusting my goals:

1. Complete adequate and appropriate training
2. Stay injury free
3. Stay motivated - this may end up being my biggest challenge. I just started a new full time job that requires about double the time I've been working, so fitting in training runs as well as cross training will be difficult.
4. Finish the race in under four hours

6 Tips To Eat & Drink Your Way To A Healthy, Hydrated Body

As I write this, it is 97 degrees outside with a heat index of 109. The National Weather Service has issued excessive heat warnings for the past week with no end in sight. Even by Memphis standards, it’s hot outside.

Like other extreme weather events, excessive heat has caused numerous deaths in the past few years. People who are at greater risk from excessive heat include children, elderly, those already ill, women who are pregnant or breastfeeding, diabetics and athletes who train outside.

Lean body mass contains up to 75 percent water while fat only contains between 10 and 40 percent water. Therefore, those who are overweight are also more prone to dehydration.

Since for most of us it’s neither possible nor desirable to stay inside air-conditioned buildings full time, the best defense against the heat is to stay adequately hydrated.

Water not only maintains a safe body temperature during excessive heat or exercise, but it also carries heat away from the internal organs before serious damage can occur, which can lead to heat stroke and even death.

Click here to read 6 Tips To Eat & Drink Your Way To A Healthy, Hydrated Body

Solar Eclipse 2017

This year families have the unique opportunity to experience a rare solar phenomena: a total solar eclipse. While eclipses happen in some part of the world with regularity, this year’s eclipse will be visible in just about every part of the United States on Monday, August 21. Here are some ways you can make the most out of this amazing event:

Click here to read 5 Tips For Nerding Out On This Year's Solar Eclipse

Reading Pet Peeves

August 2 Question: What are your pet peeves when reading/writing/editing?

My biggest pet peeve when I read a book is having to go back a chapter to read it again because the story line doesn't make sense!

I recently read a book that alternated chapters writing from first person current time, to first person past time and then third person past time. What? To make it worse, the third person past time kept changing names for the same person.

I kept getting confused and having to go back and reread.  When I went to Goodreads to leave a review most of the other reviewers complained about the same issue. I still gave the book three stars though because the story really had potential. Also, I don't believe in publicly bashing anyone. If the book was truly horrible or I couldn't even finish it, I wouldn't even leave a review.

Side note: To my fellow writer's out there, please, please be a considerate reader and leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. You know how much authors depend on reviews to move their book up in search engines and ratings. The more reviews (not even necessarily all fabulous reviews) the higher up the book is placed and more people will see it.

Then I had to wonder, how did a book getting these kind of reviews, with so many people saying the story line doesn't make sense, get a publishing deal? Especially considering how many good writers there are out there who would give their eyeteeth to be published. 

When it comes to the writing and editing process, my pet peeve is that it just doesn't always come as easily as I would like. Sometimes the muse strikes and I can write for hours. Other times, I have to bang my head against the computer before I can barely type out a few coherent sentences. That's frustrating, but just part of the process I suppose.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

The Key To Happiness Is Time

Today was a  typical Sunday - my normal one day off per week. Me and the kids did the usual grocery shopping, house cleaning, back to school shopping, yard work, laundry and meal prep that normally happens on our "day of rest".

Just as I was about to start dinner, the one night per week I try to make a sit-down healthy family meal, I stepped outside first to find kid 5 teaching his puppy to jump through a hoop. I've been telling him for awhile now that I really think this dog could learn some neat tricks.

She's a rescue pup, so we aren't totally sure of her lineage, but based on the way she can jump we are thinking she definitely has some Jack Russell Terrier in her.

Well, after just a quick minute, he had that dog jumping through the hoop almost a foot off the ground!

I bet we stayed outside almost an hour just playing with the dog and taking video of her jumping.

Eventually we remembered we were hungry and I came inside to make dinner.

After dinner I stepped out back to talk to Kid 3 about coordinating all our schedules for the week. Each of the kids drifted out to follow me and we all sat outside for over an hour as the sun went down.

Not only was it the first Memphis night that wasn't sweltering hot, it's also the last weekend we have before school starts back again.

We all just felt laid back, relaxed and unhurried. Of course, though, being siblings it can never stay totally relaxed. Kids 4 & 5 challenged each other to a race, then a rematch, Kid 6 got a little loud trying to make everyone laugh and the dog was running around like crazy in the middle of it all.

It was fabulous.

I realized the key to everything tonight was time. I took the time to enjoy being outside, the time to just be with the kids without having a schedule or accomplishing a to-do list. I had the time available where I wasn't working, wasn't worried about getting back to work and wasn't worried about how to make more money  -- I just simply took the time to enjoy life for a bit.

I'm normally so busy trying to earn enough money just to get by that I don't feel like I have time to take time off.

I've always heard that money can't buy happiness. My response has always been I am willing to try! But tonight I realized that if money could just buy me more off time, more down time, I could be happy.

Money would relieve so much of my stress. Allowing me to enjoy the time I do have.

I realize that sounds like a greedy statement. But the reality is I am raising 6 kids on a single mom budget. I'm one of those Americans who has way too much credit debt, not from family vacations or shopping sprees, but from buying gas and groceries and kids sneakers. Not to mention school fees, car insurance and everything else that comes along with raising a family. Those expenses that you can't just cut back on.

Financial stress affects every part of my life. It even seeps into the fun times by making me think I shouldn't be just sitting here doing nothing, even if it is enjoying time with my family.

Down time is time that could be working. A nice meal is nothing more than another charge to my account. I keep a running total in my head of expenses during trips away for graduations or dance competitions. Believe me, adding up costs really takes the fun out of fun times.

But somehow tonight I forgot all that for a little bit.

I just enjoyed my time with my family and remembered that is why I work the way I do.

When Multitasking Doesn't Work

As a freelance writer, I have to fit in my writing any time and any where I can. Late at night is the most common writing time. With a close second being while my girls are dancing.

Most of the time that works out pretty well.

Except for when it doesn't.

I am currently sitting in the back of a conference room as about 75 teenagers participate in a tap dance workshop with some well-known tap teacher I've never heard of but the girls were quite excited about. I am currently supposed to be working on current science-backed research to promote yoga as an optimal alternative health practice for low back pain.

Yeah, this isn't working too well.

The music is loud

The tap is loud.

The girls are thirsty.

And hungry.

And tired.

This is day five of their National Dance Competition and these girls are wore out. These workshops are supposed to be their reward for a week of intense dance competition. Except my girls, and our dance school, have done so well we have been invited back to dance again tomorrow in the big showcase where all the first place winners compete against each other.

It's actually quite an honor for our little dance school.

But, we are tired.

Ironically, I volunteered for parent duty for this, as well as the next two workshops spanning over six hours. My theory was I would look like the good mom volunteering to sit with the girls for six straight hours of booming music while at the same time have six hours to do nothing but write.

I am reading current scientific research, but in my head I hear step ball change, step ball change,  shuffle shuffle out. Good now do it faster!

And of course when I hear, now put it together go!, I have to look up and watch as they dance to the choreography they just learned a minute ago.

I'm not sure how much scientific writing I'll get accomplished today. I may need to let the girls know I'll be just outside under a shady tree somewhere if they need me.