Financial Abundance In The Midst of Financial Struggles

I've written often on this blog about my financial struggles since becoming a single mom. It sucks. And, I didn't realize how "good" I had it when I was working full time. Now that I'm just working a couple part time jobs it's been even tougher. 

Panic set in a couple weeks ago when I realized that my health insurance plan I had from my over night crappy part time job wasn't much of a health insurance plan at all. Even though it said it met the Affordable Health Care Act standards of minimum coverage, I guess I didn't quite understand what "minimum coverage" meant.

So after going for my first well woman annual exam in three years (since I've been without insurance), I am now a bit more than $2,000 in deeper debt that I was a month ago. It turns out the plan paid for me to walk in to the doctors office, but not the lab work, mammogram, doctor to read the mammogram, etc that is normally done in a preventative annual visit.

I've called each bill I've received and told them I'll be making payments to them. Small payments for a long time. 

But still, I was in full blown panic mode about it all.

Then I remembered I've always managed to pay my bills in the past. There's always been enough. So I can believe there will always be enough in the future.

I'm a big believer in affirmations. As I was trying to pull myself out of panic mode, I came up with this affirmation that I've typed into my phone as a reminder for when I need it:

There is an abundance of wealth continually flowing to me. 

I am financially comfortable and secure. 

As the Universe does, I was quickly put to the test. One of my regular yoga students is collecting money for a very worthy cause. A cause I've donated quite a bit to in the past. She asked if she could ask the other students in class to donate. I was a bit uncomfortable with that but I knew she was going to ask no matter what I said. I also knew she'd be expecting a donation from me. That class is a donation based class. Some people pay more than others, some nothing at all. I don't keep track of who pays how much, there's just a basket on the floor to put the money in.  I usually make enough to put gas in my car for the week and buy some grocery essentials. I depend on that money.

As I knew it would, at the end of class she was once again asking for donations. She looked at me, looked at the basket of donations, and then back to me. 

I didn't hesitate. I just picked up the cash and handed her half. I didn't even count it first just handed her half the bills that were there.

And I felt OK with it. Not just OK but I felt that it was the right thing to do. I repeated my affirmation and went about my day. And no major financial catastrophes happened. 

Again today, in the same class, two students told me they forgot their wallets and would just pay me next week. OK, no problem. Maybe they will pay me double next week, maybe they won't. Either way, I continue to remind myself:

There is an abundance of wealth continually flowing to me. 

I am financially comfortable and secure. 

Now, when I get panicky about money, which happens at least once daily, I stop and reframe my thinking. Instead of always being in "poor" mentality mode, I'm retraining myself to be in "abundance" mentality mode. 

There's always been enough. There will always be enough. And there will be more than enough in the near future.