Monday, January 30, 2012

Time To Make It Real

I've been holding a little secret for a few weeks now.

I'm writing a book! Shhh. Don't tell anyone.

No, the wonderful writers group I've joined have convinced me that I need to make it real. I need to let people know I'm working on this project. I need to depend on them to help me keep myself accountable. 

Dreams only come true when you take action.

So, this is it. I am announcing to everyone that I am finally writing a book.  I have a deadline of having the initial rough draft completed by the end of March. Wait, that's only about 8 weeks away! 

Ok, don't panic. Just write.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Dancing With Abandon - Until I Realize I'm Being Filmed

One of my most favorite memories of my mom is when I was young and she would blast the music of  Neil Diamond, Harry Chapin, The Supremes or any of the other music she so loved to listen to. We'd dance together in our little kitchen and just laugh with abandon.

Of course, as a teen it was harder for my mom to get me to dance with her. God how embarrassing to dance with your mom! (Insert eye roll here)

One day I was out with a girlfriend and she told me she was kind of jealous of me. What? Why? It turns out she had pulled up to the house one day unexpected and through our front window she saw me and my mom dancing in the kitchen. No, she wasn't stalking. She just got a peek into something that was so normal to me I took it for granted.

Now I have my own children and my teens would rather do anything than dance in the kitchen with me. But, on a good night, I can turn up iTunes and at least a few of the kids will dance with me while we do the dishes.

I get to keep the memory of my mom alive and have some fun with my kids at the same time. And maybe I'm even making some memories for them when they have families of their own.

I don't believe there is anyone stalking my house peeking in the front windows anymore. There's no need to. My techno savvy kids know how to pick up an iPhone and slyly take a video.

So tonight we had fun dancing instead of doing the dishes. The video isn't great, but the smiles and laughs are extraordinary.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

10 Reasons To Go Vegan That Have Nothing To Do With Sex

Earlier this week I went to lunch with some of the girls after yoga. The restaurant we chose was offering some new vegetarian options so I eagerly ordered the veggie melt.

I'm not a hardcore vegetarian, in fact for a few months last year I fell off the wagon and was a complete carnivore. It quickly showed in my increased weight and decreased energy levels. And living where I do vegetarian options are few and far between, so it's a struggle to stay true to vegetarianism.

But I'm trying.

As the waitress brought my meal, I hungrily took a big bite and ...

There was bacon on my veggie melt!

Seriously! Who does that?

For more about vegan eating and some of the reasons I try to maintain that diet, please read my newest Elephant Journal post:

You can see a list of my other Elephant Posts by clicking on the Elephant Journal link on the top of this page. 

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Letter To The Universe

Dear 2012 -

OK, here we go. Can we please do things differently than we did last year?

I'm doing my part to start our year together on the right foot. I did not hit the snooze button this morning. No, I did not. I got myself up, dressed and out the door early on my way to a New Years Day Puja Ceremony. Asana, pranyama, meditation, Sanskrit chanting and of course the fire ceremony. That covers all the bases right?

Everyone asked me what I threw into the fire. What did I burn as a symbol of being ready to let go of, and what did I offer up that I'd like to bring into my life this year? Ah, but you know. And I know. That's all that matters.

We both know what last years low point was. Is there anything worse than losing a parent? Except I imagine losing a child. And good God I'll sell my soul not to have to ever experience that. There were definitely some dark moments where you brought me to my knees and knocked me off my feet.

So after all the crap you put me through,  I mean lessons you taught me last year, I'm ready to do it differently this year. I'm not talking about resolutions. Come on, we both know as long as Ben &  Jerry's exist in the world I'm just not going to lose 20 pounds. Let's forget that kind of stuff and shift our focus.

What I'm talking about, what I'm looking for is bigger. Like, I admit that I am not in total control of my life's path. I am willing to eagerly explore the opportunities presented to me. I am open to the gifts you have and will continue to give me. I'm willing to say I don't know, help me, teach me.

Now can we maybe meet halfway?

I've already committed to a writer's group. I'm putting myself out there and going after the dream of writing a book. It would be really helpful if my Muse showed up when I needed her.

I realize isolating myself and crawling under the covers is not productive. Even on my worse days, please help me find the things that keep me healthy and whole: sun, exercise and laughter.

I admit my ego and pride get in the way. I have some weird need for people to see me as strong and capable. Help me accept help that is offered, show my weaknesses and let go of the Super Woman persona I too often almost kill myself to achieve.

We both know I'd take a bullet for my kids. Maybe this year you can stop me when in moments of exhaustion or exasperation my tongue lashes out and shoots words that aren't kind and loving? And for those outside my home, rather than too quickly judge, perhaps you can remind me everyone is working their own struggle and just trying to do the best they can.

This year I commit to being present. To enjoy where I am when I'm there. To enjoy the wild ride you put me on and trust you to take care of me along the way.


Just a small dot in your vast Universe trying to make a difference around me