What Have I Done? It's A Half Marathon

Friend: Hey we should run the St Jude Half Marathon this year!
Me: Yeah that would be fun!
Friend: OK I signed us up. We need to make a training plan.
Me: What? You were serious? Shit

So, yes, it's official. I am committed to the famous St Jude Half Marathon happening December 2, 2017.

My current training plan consists of:

1. Ignoring the fact I've never run/walked more than a 5K
2. Ignoring the fact that in the past 4 years I've had knee surgery and within the past 6 months a broken foot and multiple torn tendons and ligaments in that foot
3. Repeatedly checking the calendar to count the number of available training weeks between now and December 2 (25 weeks that also include one week I will be out of town)
4. Completed no extra walking except to sustain life and work obligations. For real. I haven't even met my FitBit step goal one time this week
5. Intentionally not advertised my commitment all over social media the way the rest of my half marathon friends have done
6. Adamantly remind everyone that does know I have registered, paid for and committed to the half marathon that I will in fact be walking the vast majority of the race

My hope is I will look like this:

And finish like this:

My fear is it will end up more like this:

As of now my goals are simple:

1. Complete adequate and appropriate training 
2. Stay injury free
3. Stay motivated
4. Finish the race without being last or having the trolley pick me up to get me to the finish line

It's only 13.1 miles. No big deal. Right?