Me, My Son And A Pop Song

Sometimes, often in unexpected moments, music stops you in your tracks and makes you pay attention to life.

Driving home from the doctor this afternoon, Kid 1 was dozing in the passenger seat. He's been pretty sick lately so he and I haven't had much interaction.

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing since most of our conversations lately center around me telling him to just grow up and be responsible and him telling me he's an adult now and I need to treat him like one. It's a pretty common issue between mothers and their young adult sons I suppose. But he and I have a history of struggle that makes it a little more frustrating. We aren't currently doing a lot of fighting. Just quite a bit of bickering.

Anyway, today we had just left the doctor where we found out he thankfully didn't have to have surgery. I thought he was asleep when he suddenly popped up and said "oh you need to listen to this song. It makes me think of us."

Ugh, OK. I figure it will be something about two people who don't see eye to eye.

Instead, he played me this:

"House Of Gold"

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old,

Will you buy me a house of gold?

And when your father turns to stone,

Will you take care of me?"

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old,

Will you buy me a house of gold?

And when your father turns to stone,

Will you take care of me?"

I will make you queen of everything you see,

I'll put you on the map,

I'll cure you of disease.

Let's say we up and left this town,

And turned our future upside down.

We'll make pretend that you and me,

Lived ever after happily.

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old,

Will you buy me a house of gold?

And when your father turns to stone,

Will you take care of me?"

I will make you queen of everything you see,

I'll put you on the map,

I'll cure you of disease.

Ohhhh...

And since we know that dreams are dead,

And life turns plans up on their head,

I will plan to be a bum,

So I just might become someone.

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old,

Will you buy me a house of gold?

And when your father turns to stone,

Will you take care of me?"

I will make you queen of everything you see,

I'll put you on the map,

I'll cure you of disease.

As I listened to the words I realized I also needed to be listening between the lines. I've often joked that out of six kids one of them better take care of me when I'm older.  And here he is playing me a song about wanting to take care of me so I live happily ever after. A song about knowing times are tough now. But that knowing they will get easier one day.

And this line:

And since we know that dreams are dead,

And life turns plans up on their head,

I will plan to be a bum,

So I just might become someone.

Kid 1 has been working hard lately to be someone. He's not moving forward as fast as he'd hoped, but he's not going backwards anymore either. 

For the first time in a very long time, he's looking to the future.

And the future looks bright.

At first when I pulled up the video for this song I thought it was just weird. But when I read a bit deeper, I found this:

Both of the members absolutely love their moms- they talk about this all the time and the song is about that.  The upper halves of their bodies were around the house, in the windows, playing to the woman inside, presumably a mother.  Their hearts were closer to her.  However, their legs were going around, pursuing a music career, or a bigger life outside of the mother.  They’re half and half, caught between their mothers and their booming success.  It’s an insanely intelligent parallel that I applaud the boys for drawing and making so cleverly articulated.

Now I love the song even more. My Kid 1 / young adult son, who has struggled to become a young adult, is on the verge of leaving me and finding his own way in the world. Of course it's part of our bickering. I want him to go. But I know he's not quite ready.

He wants to go. But he knows he's not quite ready.

He's torn. I'm torn.

But between us there is enough love that I will always be there for him. And he is gaining the maturity to realize he someday wants to take care of me, the way I have always taken care of him.

Funny how a simple pop song can sum up your life. And put an end to some of the bickering.