I spend a lot of time thinking about what I want.
I want to be there. I don’t want to be here.
I want that. I don’t want this
I want to be that. I don’t want to be this.
It’s taken a lot to get myself where I am now. But I don’t allow myself time to appreciate it.
I know that each step I take today is placing me on a path to a journey that I don’t know the destination of. And that scares me sometimes.
If I knew the outcome would I take a different step now? What if this is the wrong step? Can I change the outcome by doing something different now? What do I need to do today to get me there and get me that tomorrow?
I get so caught up inside my head of looking ahead that I forget to just be where I am right now.
When in truth, where I am at any given moment is exactly where I am supposed to be.
Then, very rarely, a moment occurs that I feel something. I feel something is right. To call it a peaceful feeling is too simplistic. It’s more of a knowing.
A knowing that it’s OK to just be. Not looking back, not looking ahead. Just here and now.
That feeling, that knowing, is so strong that when it first hits me it takes my breath away. Then it makes me want to weep. Then, and then, I laugh. Because right now I'm here and for that brief moment in time it's all that matters.
I'm walking my path. My choices. My decisions. My journey.
"No one can save us but ourselves. No one can and no one may.
We ourselves must walk the path."