Best Way to Waste Time Online

My new obsession: slam poetry courtesy of UPWORTHY.

I don't know how I've missed this site for so long, but I'm hooked. I can easily lose track of time here.

I've watched this video twice so far. I'm in awe at this guys creative madness/genius.

After The Storm

Tonight's sunset after a hellacious
thunder storm that unexpectedly swept
 through my area.

I'm still waiting for my calm after the storm. 

Tonight's sunset gave me hope that someday, dear God maybe soon, there will be peace and happiness in my life again.

Life Lessons

I have the privilege of having a very young staff. The youngest is 19 and the oldest is all of 23. So to my middle-aged self, they are quite young. Most of the time they are enjoyable, and sometimes, well, they remind me I'm glad I'm not 20 anymore. As their boss, it's my job to remind them there is a time to to work and a time to goof around. They are young and they are learning what it means to be professional. If nothing else, I hope I can mentor them in becoming women of confidence and integrity.

I've come to realize though they see me as more than their boss. I'm their mom, their friend, their confidant. I don't just call them my staff, I call them my girls. They tell me things they don't tell their own mom, and I've told them things I wouldn't tell my own children! Often times I'll say "pay attention, this is an important life lesson." Not surprisingly, they then roll their eyes just like my own real kids do.

So today when one of my girls texted me her latest boy issue, I wasn't sure whether to wear my mom hat? My friend hat? Or my mentor hat? This definitely called for a life lesson response.

I typed back what I've learned to be true:

Go. 

Be young and carefree. 

Drink, laugh and dance.

Get naked.

Grab hold of love and chase after lust.

Take advantage of youth and live your life now.

But get your ass back to work soon.

Hopefully it's a lesson they will remember.

One Year: Loss, Learning and a New Life

It's been exactly a year. One year since one phone call changed the one thing I always thought I knew to be true. One year ago today I found out my husband was having an affair. One phone call that led to one divorce and 365 days of heartache.

I've given a lot of thought to what I've learned this year. I certainly forgot a lot of my previous teachings during my darker moments. But I know enough that in everything there is a lesson to learn.

• When someones actions don't match their words, always believe their actions. Words hurt. Hateful words can drive a stake through your heart. But a persons actions are what cause the most long-term damage.
• Like Robert Frost said, Life Goes On. When I got that phone call my world stopped. But life around me continued. At the time, I didn't understand how that was possible. Now I see that is exactly how it's supposed to be. Life goes on. And thank God it does.
• Asking "Why?" is pointless. I'll never get the answer I'm looking for or the one that will satisfy me. In my heart I already know why. 
• You can't control anyone else. No matter how vested I may be in the outcome, it's ultimately not solely up to me. Other people are going to make choices that affect me, and I have no choice but to accept that and do my best with the outcome.
• Addiction destroys families. Addiction is selfish and manipulative. Addiction can't be cured by love.  The addicted person isn't just harming himself, he's leaving a wake of destruction behind him that becomes the burden for the innocent to bear. 
• I know nothing. All the books I've read, all the teachers I've studied under, it's nothing but a drop in the bucket of wisdom. I'm just waking up every morning doing the best I can with that days knowledge. 
• You just don't know what the Universe has in store for you. Life takes sudden and unexpected turns that may knock you off your feet, or may be the helping hand you need.
• In times of trouble you learn who your friends are. People I never would have expected stepped up this year when I most needed. From forcing me into the car to the doctor to get help, to taking care of my children, to laying in bed with me and holding me while I cried, my friends were the ones who never lost faith in me.

And one more lesson that I knew, but had forgotten. Laughter really is the best medicine. Many times this year I thought my laugh would never return. Then many times it was laughter through tears. Now, I am grateful for genuine laughter.

I've written before about what a wonderful staff I have. Today they outdid themselves. Knowing today had the potential to be an emotionally difficult day, they had a surprise waiting for me when I got in to work.

Happy "You Found Out Your Husband is Having
an Affair' Anniversary.
How could you not laugh at that kind
of celebration?