2014- Bring It: #reverb13 Day 21

Then, without thinking too hard about it, grab a pen and some paper and finish the following five sentences:

2014 is going to be MY YEAR because...

In 2014, I am going to do...

In 2014, I am going to feel...

In 2014, I am not going to...

In December 2014, I am going to look back and say...

For bonus points, if you participated in #reverb12, compare your answers to the ones you wrote this time last year. What has been revealed? Where are the surprises?

2014 is going to be my year because:  I have claimed it as mine.

In 2014 I am going to: See my book in print. Look only forward.  Follow my bliss. Listen to my heart. Be more present. Be more open.

In 2014 I am going to feel:  Happy. Contented. Excited. Confident. Loved.

In 2014 I am not going to: Talk myself out of taking chances. Be the first to put myself down. Constantly compare myself to others. Play small.

In December 2014 I am going to look back and say: Holy shit, I did it!

I didn't participate in #reverb12 last year. I was still in the eye of the storm of 2012 and nowhere near being ready to look back at what had happened. I certainly was in no condition to be manifesting for the year ahead.

Now as I sit here in December 2013 looking back at what all I've gone through, I can say:

Holy shit, I made it!

This post is part of #reverb13, a series of daily writing prompts to explore the year passed and to manifest the year ahead. This prompt was found at Kat McNally Words To Soothe The Weary Soul.

Waiting For My Real Life To Begin

Last week at work, during one of our regular deep philosophical discussion periods, someone said "hey you should listen to this song."

My response was an eye roll and a let's just get back to work now.

But I sat and listened. And as I listened I felt my eyes get moist and my heart become heavy.

Any minute now, my ship is coming in 

I'll keep checking the horizon 

And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call 

It's gonna happen soon, soon, oh so very soon 

It's just that times are lean 

Looking back, I can see now that I've spent too many years waiting for my real life to begin. "It will be better when...", "If I can just make this happen...", "Someday I'll have the time/money/energy..."

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened 

But in my dreams, I slew the dragon 

And down this beaten path, up this cobbled lane 

I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again

The years went by, my life continued and I kept waiting. Waiting for something to happen.

Then something happened. Something big. And I was scared. I'm still a little scared. But I don't want to wait any longer.  I'm ready to find a way to steer my own ship.

I know the sailing won't be easy. But there is something comforting about taking control. I know there are still hard times ahead. I know I'm going to make mistakes. I know times will be lean.

But they will be my times, my terms, mine to overcome.

I know people now who are in a holding pattern waiting for their own lives to begin. I see the same fear and unhappiness in their eyes that I had in mine for so long. I know the pain they feel. I know what 's holding them back.

As sad as I am for those people, there's nothing I can do to help them get moving. When they decide it's their time, or their big scary moment happens, it's up to them to begin their own life.

As I sat and listened to the song I became aware of one of my young staff girls watching me. I looked at her, smiled, wiped the tear away from my eye and pretended to get back to the work on my desk.

But inside I knew I was finally ready. It is time to get to the real work of making my new life begin.