Waiting For My Real Life To Begin

Last week at work, during one of our regular deep philosophical discussion periods, someone said "hey you should listen to this song."

My response was an eye roll and a let's just get back to work now.

But I sat and listened. And as I listened I felt my eyes get moist and my heart become heavy.

Any minute now, my ship is coming in 

I'll keep checking the horizon 

And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call 

It's gonna happen soon, soon, oh so very soon 

It's just that times are lean 

Looking back, I can see now that I've spent too many years waiting for my real life to begin. "It will be better when...", "If I can just make this happen...", "Someday I'll have the time/money/energy..."

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened 

But in my dreams, I slew the dragon 

And down this beaten path, up this cobbled lane 

I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again

The years went by, my life continued and I kept waiting. Waiting for something to happen.

Then something happened. Something big. And I was scared. I'm still a little scared. But I don't want to wait any longer.  I'm ready to find a way to steer my own ship.

I know the sailing won't be easy. But there is something comforting about taking control. I know there are still hard times ahead. I know I'm going to make mistakes. I know times will be lean.

But they will be my times, my terms, mine to overcome.

I know people now who are in a holding pattern waiting for their own lives to begin. I see the same fear and unhappiness in their eyes that I had in mine for so long. I know the pain they feel. I know what 's holding them back.

As sad as I am for those people, there's nothing I can do to help them get moving. When they decide it's their time, or their big scary moment happens, it's up to them to begin their own life.

As I sat and listened to the song I became aware of one of my young staff girls watching me. I looked at her, smiled, wiped the tear away from my eye and pretended to get back to the work on my desk.

But inside I knew I was finally ready. It is time to get to the real work of making my new life begin.

Month of Gratitude November 7

Tonight's gratitude moment is easy: A car full of my kids singing along to Phillip Phillips new song Home.

It made my heart warm to hear the chorus in the car, to all agree it's our new family theme song, and to know that we're not alone we're going to make this place our home.

Hold on, to me as we go 

As we roll down this unfamiliar road 

And although this wave is stringing us along 

Just know you’re not alone 

Cause I’m going to make this place your home 

Settle down, it'll all be clear 

Don't pay no mind to the demons 

They fill you with fear 

The trouble it might drag you down 

If you get lost, you can always be found 

Just know you’re not alone 

Cause I’m going to make this place your home 

Settle down, it'll all be clear 

Don't pay no mind to the demons 

They fill you with fear 

The trouble it might drag you down 

If you get lost, you can always be found 

Just know you’re not alone 

Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Yoga Blue Playlist

It's been a long time since I made a new yoga playlist. In fact my class has been asking me and making suggestions for awhile now. I guess they were getting bored with the same old same old.

A few times either my Ipod wasn't working or there was a sound system issue, so we practiced yoga without music. I actually like it that way. I'm able to hear better who is breathing properly or who is struggling.

But this week I finally sat down and put together a new playlist. Everyone seems to like it and keeps asking about the 12th song on the list.

The song is titled Blue from the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Apparently Buffy has quite a following of loyal watchers. I admit I've never sat down to watch, I much prefer vampire porn - I mean True Blood.

But I heard the song, loved it, and knew it had to be on a yoga playlist.

So here is what I call the Yoga Blue playlist:

1. Meditation - Winter Hill Records
2. Come Away With Me - Norah Jones
3. White Flag - Dido
4. Someone Like You  - Adele
5. You Are The Best Thing - Ray LaMontagne
6. Underneath It All - No Doubt & Lady Saw
7. Silly Love Songs - Wings
8. Baby, I Love Your Way (Live) - Frampton Comes Alive
9. Levon - Elton John Greatest Hits
10. You Are Not Alone - Mavis Staples
11. Daydreamer - Adele
12. Blue - BTVS Various Artists
13. Christos - Yoga Meditation Garden
14. Coolness - Yoga Meditation Garden

Musical Bliss on the Yoga Mat

Music soothes the savage beast... William Congreve

My kids say they hate when I sing in the car. Although I don't think they really do. I think deep down they love the fact they have a mom who will blast Freebird and take the long way home so we can sing along to the end.

I love hearing a song and being instantly transported back in time to a good memory; dancing in the kitchen with my mom, my dance school solo to Fleetwood Mac's Gypsy or any 1980's song from when I was in high school. Who hasn't heard a song and been reminded of a summer of first love?

I know there are some yoga teachers who believe popular music doesn't belong in a yoga class. I disagree.  Music provides yet another opportunity to get in touch with who we are. Music is another opportunity to discover what we're looking for.  A song affects us in a certain why and we aren't quite sure why. I admit I've begun to weep listening to lyrics that express emotions I've been holding down.

Music heals my soul. How lonely and quiet life would be without a soundtrack.

This is one of my more popular yoga class playlists. I've made copies of U2 yoga for quite a few people. Perhaps it will soothe your soul as well.

Grace -- U2
Strength, Courage and Wisdom -- India Arie
Crazy (Acoustic version) -- Seal
You Found Me -- The Fray
Wild World -- Cat Stevens
One -- U2
Watching the Wheels -- John Lennon
Drift Away -- Uncle Kracker
Bad -- U2
God Is Real/Hare Ram -- Krishna Das
Driftwood -- Sleeping Buddha