Rule #1 Of Writing

July 5 Question: What is one valuable lesson you've learned since you started writing?

The writing doesn't actually happen unless you sit down and write.

Just sit your ass down in the chair, the bed, a comfy couch - it doesn't even matter where. You just have to sit down and starting putting words to paper / blank screen.

You can think about writing. You can plan to write. You can make time to write.

But you have to actually do the writing.

I spend A LOT of time thinking about writing. I normally have posts written in my head while exercising, driving or even mowing the grass.

Yet lately I haven't taken the next step to actually write them down.

In fact, I've done more writing about not writing these past few months than I've actually done any real writing.

A few years ago I wrote an Elephant Journal post titled Being A Writer Is Easy. Re-reading it has inspired me to once again be a more disciplined writer.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

Quit Writing? Never

June’s IWSG Day Question: Did you ever say “I quit”? If so, what happened to make you come back to writing?

I've taken many breaks in my writing.

Short breaks. Long breaks. Intentional breaks. Life got in the way breaks. And lots of just plain lazy breaks.

But I really don't recall ever thinking I quit.

Have I ever been discouraged in my writing? Sure. Do I go through periods of wild creativity followed by absolute nothingness. Yep.

But quit writing? How would I even do that?

Writing is just a part of who I am. Even if no one else reads it, I need to get the words out. This blog has saved me more than once.

I've said it many times before -- writing is how I get the crazy out.

I will always write in some way. I will never quit writing.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

I Just Remembered What I Forgot

Or...

I Finally Realized Why I Haven't Been Writing Lately

And it's not laziness!

Well, not just laziness.

I am maxed out on personal training clients at work right now and my empath tendencies are in overdrive. I am worn out from putting all my energy into helping other people that I don't have enough left over energy for myself.

I love my personal training clients and all my class members. I truly do. But I also genuinely care about them. So when they are hurting, I am hurting. When they are struggling, I am struggling to help them. My job, both when training, teaching and as a wellness coordinator is a sort of cheerleader. I need to smile and encourage everyone all day long.

All. Day. Long.

Factor in I often work split shifts, usually 8-2 and then again 4-8, and they make for long days.

So I'm more than a little tired by the time I get home at night.

Well duh. I go through this periodically.

Work a lot - write hardly at all.

Work a little - write like crazy.

It's a crappy balancing act with no balance at all.

It's good that I'm working a lot right now. I need to keep that up. But I also need to balance it out with some self care and some me time. Which, of course, includes writing. I know if I look back through this blog I have written many times about that delicate balancing act.

And, after all this time, I still haven't figured it out.

Yet.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

Writing A Book, Just Writing Anything, Is An Accomplishment

Publicity for my book seems to come in waves. There's total silence and zero sales for a month or two, and then suddenly a flurry of activity and sales. I can't always pinpoint what leads to the sudden sales increase, but I am always grateful for it.

Right now I'm in a sales upswing which also leads to more local people finding out about my book. While ninety percent of the people are always positive and encouraging, there are always those few that seem to want to diminish my achievement.

Did you try and get published with Random House?

Oh, my friend wrote a book and was interviewed by (insert name of television person I haven't even heard of here)?

How many books have you sold?

How much money did you make?

I thought authors made a lot of money?

Why haven't you written a second book yet?

JK Rowling wrote her books as a single mom on the train? Why can't you make more time to write?

I remember when the book first came out one guy I don't even know on social media kept telling me it wasn't a "real book" if one of the major publishing houses didn't publish it. He went away pretty quick when I asked for the link to his bestselling book. (He didn't have one of course.)

I'm pretty good about not letting the haters get me down. It's just such a weird phenomenon. I don't know why people are so quick to critique everything. 

I tell fellow writers publishing a book doesn't make you a real writer. Writing makes you a real writer. 

Just in case you missed all the other links I've posted, you can find my book Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom right here on Amazon.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

Writing Rules: The Stupid Ones Anyway

January 4 Question: What writing rule do you wish you'd never heard?

 Writing rules that are stupid yet I still somehow seem to feel the need to follow:

1. Real writers have million dollar advances, are interviewed by Oprah and are driven around in chauffeured limos to sold out book readings.
2. Real writers have a writing room/writing cottage on the beach (or in the mountains) where they have floor to ceiling shelves full of classic literature. They retreat alone to these writing cottages on the beach (mountains) for months at a time to write and only stop occasionally to eat when the local town's food delivery service arrives.
3. Real writers write every day no matter what.
4. Real writers don't waste time Netflix binging.
5. Real writers don't question whether they are a real writer.

Those are my rules for being a writer.

I am well aware that they are all made up and self imposed rules that are impossible for 99.99% of writers to follow or ever achieve.

But, they are still what I am working toward. 

Except for number 4 because Orange Is The New Black should be coming back to Netflix very soon and I'm not missing that for anything or anyone.

Except Oprah. When Oprah calls I will hop on a plane faster than she can say book club!

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them

My Favorite Aspect Of Being A Writer

October 5 IWSG Question: What is your favorite aspect of being a writer?

My favorite aspect of being a writer... is feeling like a writer.

There are two times in my life where I really feel comfortable in my own skin. Two times that I feel like I'm fulfilling my dharma: teaching yoga and writing.

Most of my writing is done propped up on my bed late at night after work, after chores are done and after kids are in bed. I feel like a want-to-be writer then. Because, you know, "real" writers have cute little writing cottages on the beach where they can take breaks and walk the sand to find their latest best selling idea. And they don't have to work real jobs to pay the bills because their mail box is full of royalty checks.

These past few years I've been fortunate to travel to the West Coast a few times. They were much-needed mini vacations to reconnect with old friends, practice yoga in chic little studios and of course, to write.

Sitting in a Starbucks in Seattle - feel like a writer.
Walking the rocky Northwest beaches thinking of ideas - feel like a writer
Sitting in an airport with my laptop open - feel like a writer
Jotting down notes while waiting to meet my friend for the afternoon - feel like a writer

It's not just when I'm away that I feel like a writer. Right now I'm sitting in my local Starbucks waiting on my girls to be finished dance class. I've gotten into a good habit these past couple months of day job, home to kids, drop girls at dance, go to Starbucks and write, pick up girls and continue with mom chores for the evening.

I like my cherished moments here. In fact I try and pick the far back corner booth so I can hide in case people I know stop in. I don't want forced socialization to hinder my writing!

I suppose the theme here is my favorite aspect of being a writer... is sitting down and actually writing.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

When Do You Know Your Story Is Ready

October 5 IWSG Question: When do you know your story is ready?

You just do.

I say that like it's so easy.

But when I was writing my first book (get ready for a shameless plug here) Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom , I thought the book was finished more than once. Actually probably a few times.

Finish #1: I had completed the first draft. Years of thinking about writing and 9 months of writing had finally brought me to the point I WROTE A BOOK! Life is good. I have accomplished something.

Just a couple weeks later I got the unexpected news I was getting divorced. And it was not the nice amicable kind of divorce. I was so devastated I thought my life was over and my book was crap so I literally picked up the manuscript and threw it in the trash. Dumb, I know.

About a year later I was flying home to help my dad and I found the manuscript on my hard drive. I realized my life was not over - it just needed a rewrite!

Finish #2: The rewrite is complete! My book is complete! My life isn't over! And I sent draft number 2 off to the editor. She loved it. Life is good.

And... then I had a crisis with one of my children. Book? What book? My life was consumed with doctors, hospitals, therapists, blame and tears.

This lasted probably another 6 months.

Then, and I swear this is true, I awoke from sleeping in the middle of the night and wrote the ending to my book.

Just like that. It was finished.

And, this time, I knew it was ready.

It sure would have been nice not to have to go through those years of trauma and drama, but I can honestly say it made my book better because it made it real. Everything I wrote in that book I lived and learned. That book was truly my blood, sweat, tears, heart and soul.

I'm now in the process of contemplating book 2. It's in my head, I'm just having some trouble getting it on paper.

Hopefully it won't take so many years and so much heartache this time around.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them. 

My Writer's Life: A Series of Stops and Starts

IWSG Question: What was your very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer? Where is it now? Collecting dust or has it been published?

We would have to go way, way back to find my very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer. My bio says I've been "writing since I first picked up a crayon" and that is so  true.

I wrote for school newspapers in middle and high school.

My first paid writing was after my college internship at a small local community newspaper in Florida.  From there I wrote for magazines.

From there I got married, had babies, got depressed and stopped writing.

Fast forward a few years and I began this blog here.

I was very fortunate this blog caught the eye of the editor of an online publication and from there, as they say, it's history.

Except add in a few more stops and starts along the way.

My writing is good. But my ability to self sabotage is even better!

My writing career hasn't been linear. There have been times I've paid my bills with writing. Other times I've paid my bills with an assortment of other jobs and didn't write at all. I continually strive for the balance between working to survive and writing to succeed.

My life, like my writing, is a work in progress.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them. 

I Am A Serious Writer! No, Really I Am. Sometimes.

For this month of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, more of my insecure ramblings.

I've been told by those in the know that I need to start taking my writing career more seriously if I want others to take me seriously. Well I know that.

But, what if I take myself seriously and they laugh at me?
What if I take myself seriously and do the things that have been suggested  and it ends up all being for nothing away?
What if I take myself seriously, do the things that are suggested, but then have to pull back because of another family or financial crisis?
What if...

You get the insecure picture right?

The suggestions I've received have included:

• Get a real professional head shot and for the love of God please stop using that selfie you took in your car!
• Send out at least three pitches weekly
• Create a new website with a dedicated URL (this is the one causing me the most angst)
• Develop my purpose, mission and vision
• Write out my ultimate wish list
• Get to work on my second book

So, after doing my usual 'do nothing out of fear' for a few weeks thing, I finally completed step one - a real professional head shot.

I contacted my new friend and famed Memphis photographer Marci Lambert and told her what I needed. Outwardly she was excited for me, but I'm sure she groaned a bit inside. She was the photographer for my first photo shoot commissioned by a local magazine. I didn't exactly give her a hard time, but I didn't make it super easy on her either with my whining about how I don't like my picture taken and I don't like any picture ever taken of me.

But, Marci is amazing and she managed to put me at ease and she even convinced me to smile!

So step one - complete!

Step two - three pitches weekly? Three? I get it, I get it. The more you write, the more you submit, the more you publish. OK, I'll work on that.

Step three - a new website with dedicated URL. But that means leaving Blogger! Of everything on the suggestion list this one is my biggest hang up. I can't even handle the thought of losing everything I've done here these past five years. Literally, it makes me anxious and tense just thinking about it.

But I understand the need. No one is going to Google Diapers, Detentions & Downdogs. They are going to Google my name.

I simply can't pay anyone to create the switch for me, there's just no budget for it. Which means figuring it out on my own.

Anyone have any advice on switching from Blogger to a new URL? What about all you Word Press people?

Any and all advice or assistance would be very very appreciated for creating a dedicated URL!

Four - my purpose, mission and vision. Ummmmm. Well I always say I want to help women find their voice. I suppose I could jazz that up.

Five - my ultimate wish list. I've told everyone this - I want to get my book on the Ellen Show! Why Ellen? Because she loves yoga and she loves her mom. It's just a bonus that my kids will think I am the coolest mom ever if they see me on Ellen!

Six - start writing book two. Actually, and this will be the first time I'm publicly admitting this, I think book two is beginning to rattle around in my brain. But I'll save that for next months Insecure Writer's Support Group post.

This is the picture from my first professional photo shoot. Marci may have got me to smile, but I still think I look scared half to death in this one. Hopefully I look much more relaxed - and more serious about myself and my work - in the second one posted above.

Writing The Crazy Out

I've been very honest about the reason I write is to get the crazy out of my head. In fact there's a section of my book titled Get The Crazy Out (Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom).  I'm a big believer in getting the demons out of your head and onto the paper.

But sometimes, the demons don't want to go away. Sometimes they are hunkered down for the long haul and no amount of writing, exercise or ice cream will make them go away.

And then I feel stuck. Depression sets in. I lose all interest in writing. I can barely bring myself to read the posts from all the other amazing bloggers I follow who don't ever seem to get down and stuck.

They don't ever get writer's block. Maybe they don't even have demons? Maybe their life is filled with unicorns and writer's retreats?

Not me. My life seems to be one crisis after another. To the point that I even don't want to talk to friends anymore for fear of being "that girl who only ever has bad news". I pull away from friends and loved ones so my negativity doesn't bring them down too.

Yet the demons in my head are still screaming. I've managed to jot down a few notes this past week of the randomness in my mind. Maybe eventually they will turn into amazing pieces of writing. Or maybe I'll forget about them until they start shouting again.

Writing is an isolating activity. Living in turmoil is isolating. I am constantly surrounded by people all screaming at me to meet their needs, yet I feel so alone. And I feel like I'm failing everyone, including myself.

Yet my book is called Creating A Joyful Life. I don't feel very joyful right now. If I admit that does it mean I'm a hypocrite?

Add hypocrisy to the list of my insecurities today.