Reading Pet Peeves

August 2 Question: What are your pet peeves when reading/writing/editing?

My biggest pet peeve when I read a book is having to go back a chapter to read it again because the story line doesn't make sense!

I recently read a book that alternated chapters writing from first person current time, to first person past time and then third person past time. What? To make it worse, the third person past time kept changing names for the same person.

I kept getting confused and having to go back and reread.  When I went to Goodreads to leave a review most of the other reviewers complained about the same issue. I still gave the book three stars though because the story really had potential. Also, I don't believe in publicly bashing anyone. If the book was truly horrible or I couldn't even finish it, I wouldn't even leave a review.

Side note: To my fellow writer's out there, please, please be a considerate reader and leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. You know how much authors depend on reviews to move their book up in search engines and ratings. The more reviews (not even necessarily all fabulous reviews) the higher up the book is placed and more people will see it.

Then I had to wonder, how did a book getting these kind of reviews, with so many people saying the story line doesn't make sense, get a publishing deal? Especially considering how many good writers there are out there who would give their eyeteeth to be published. 

When it comes to the writing and editing process, my pet peeve is that it just doesn't always come as easily as I would like. Sometimes the muse strikes and I can write for hours. Other times, I have to bang my head against the computer before I can barely type out a few coherent sentences. That's frustrating, but just part of the process I suppose.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

When Multitasking Doesn't Work

As a freelance writer, I have to fit in my writing any time and any where I can. Late at night is the most common writing time. With a close second being while my girls are dancing.

Most of the time that works out pretty well.

Except for when it doesn't.

I am currently sitting in the back of a conference room as about 75 teenagers participate in a tap dance workshop with some well-known tap teacher I've never heard of but the girls were quite excited about. I am currently supposed to be working on current science-backed research to promote yoga as an optimal alternative health practice for low back pain.

Yeah, this isn't working too well.

The music is loud

The tap is loud.

The girls are thirsty.

And hungry.

And tired.

This is day five of their National Dance Competition and these girls are wore out. These workshops are supposed to be their reward for a week of intense dance competition. Except my girls, and our dance school, have done so well we have been invited back to dance again tomorrow in the big showcase where all the first place winners compete against each other.

It's actually quite an honor for our little dance school.

But, we are tired.

Ironically, I volunteered for parent duty for this, as well as the next two workshops spanning over six hours. My theory was I would look like the good mom volunteering to sit with the girls for six straight hours of booming music while at the same time have six hours to do nothing but write.

I am reading current scientific research, but in my head I hear step ball change, step ball change,  shuffle shuffle out. Good now do it faster!

And of course when I hear, now put it together go!, I have to look up and watch as they dance to the choreography they just learned a minute ago.

I'm not sure how much scientific writing I'll get accomplished today. I may need to let the girls know I'll be just outside under a shady tree somewhere if they need me.

I Just Remembered What I Forgot

Or...

I Finally Realized Why I Haven't Been Writing Lately

And it's not laziness!

Well, not just laziness.

I am maxed out on personal training clients at work right now and my empath tendencies are in overdrive. I am worn out from putting all my energy into helping other people that I don't have enough left over energy for myself.

I love my personal training clients and all my class members. I truly do. But I also genuinely care about them. So when they are hurting, I am hurting. When they are struggling, I am struggling to help them. My job, both when training, teaching and as a wellness coordinator is a sort of cheerleader. I need to smile and encourage everyone all day long.

All. Day. Long.

Factor in I often work split shifts, usually 8-2 and then again 4-8, and they make for long days.

So I'm more than a little tired by the time I get home at night.

Well duh. I go through this periodically.

Work a lot - write hardly at all.

Work a little - write like crazy.

It's a crappy balancing act with no balance at all.

It's good that I'm working a lot right now. I need to keep that up. But I also need to balance it out with some self care and some me time. Which, of course, includes writing. I know if I look back through this blog I have written many times about that delicate balancing act.

And, after all this time, I still haven't figured it out.

Yet.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

Writing Recycling

March 1 question: Have you ever pulled out a really old story and reworked it? Did it work out?

Yes! Who hasn't? Or why wouldn't you?

Most of the writers in the Insecure Writer's Support Group are fiction writers so I'm sure this question is really meant for those old half written stories that never got finished. But, as a nonfiction writer, I have often pulled out old blog posts, old ideas jotted down or even an already published piece to rework it and republish it.

As a freelance writer you have to find a way to get the most from your writing. Usually it's rewriting a piece with a different angle for a different publication. Or expanding on a shorter post to make it more in-depth.

I'm still in my writing funk and not doing much, if any, writing. Let alone any rewriting. I'm still not sure what that is about.

Maybe I'll go through some of my old stuff and see if there is anything to refresh and renew my writing spark.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

Writing & Reading

February 1 question: How has being a writer changed your experience as a reader?

First, before I get to this month's question, let me point out the obvious. This is not the first Wednesday of the month.

The Insecure Writer's Support Group meets the first Wednesday of every month. I've been participating for at least a year now so I know how this works. I knew what this months question was and I was ready to answer it this Wednesday.

But... this Wednesday won't be the first Wednesday of the month. How I missed last Wednesday, especially since it was February 1, I really don't know. 

Nevertheless, here we are.

I used to feel like I had to finish a book even if I didn't like it. Almost like leaving a book half read was a sin or something. I have no idea where that belief came from, but it led to forcing myself to read some very forgettable works of literature.

As I have grown in my writing, I realize if something doesn't speak to me, it is OK to put it down. Part of it is I'm older and busier and just don't have the time anymore. Part of it is I get annoyed by bad writing. Especially bad editing! If the author didn't take the time to publish her best work, why should I take the time to read it? And if it is her best work, well congratulations for having the courage to get your writing out there to the world. That's something not many other people can do. You should be proud. Unfortunately, this piece just isn't for me.

And that's OK. Because I also write books, blog posts, and magazine articles that not everybody enjoys. You have permission to read what I write. And if you don't like it, thank you for at least clicking here and I hope you will give me another chance.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them

Writing Rules: The Stupid Ones Anyway

January 4 Question: What writing rule do you wish you'd never heard?

 Writing rules that are stupid yet I still somehow seem to feel the need to follow:

1. Real writers have million dollar advances, are interviewed by Oprah and are driven around in chauffeured limos to sold out book readings.
2. Real writers have a writing room/writing cottage on the beach (or in the mountains) where they have floor to ceiling shelves full of classic literature. They retreat alone to these writing cottages on the beach (mountains) for months at a time to write and only stop occasionally to eat when the local town's food delivery service arrives.
3. Real writers write every day no matter what.
4. Real writers don't waste time Netflix binging.
5. Real writers don't question whether they are a real writer.

Those are my rules for being a writer.

I am well aware that they are all made up and self imposed rules that are impossible for 99.99% of writers to follow or ever achieve.

But, they are still what I am working toward. 

Except for number 4 because Orange Is The New Black should be coming back to Netflix very soon and I'm not missing that for anything or anyone.

Except Oprah. When Oprah calls I will hop on a plane faster than she can say book club!

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them

The Five-Year Writing Plan

December 7 Question: In terms of your writing career, where do you see yourself five years from now, and what’s your plan to get there?

A five-year plan. Well I don't have a concrete long term plan. Except to keep writing of course.

I have made the commitment to begin book two and would like to have it published no later than the beginning of 2018. I was originally thinking next summer but I'm not sure I can get a quality product out in that time.

Of course I would like to continue earning money for my writing. I am happy that my writing brings in a monthly income, but there's always a desire to increase the amount. 

I suppose in five years I would like to be where I've always wanted to be -- a full time writer earning enough money to not have to work a "real job". 

My two favorite times in the past year were on the surface not very good times; Last summer when I was laid off from my full time job and without another full time job for four months. And then these past couple months when I was home with a broken foot on workers comp. Both of those times off of work saw big bursts of writing and creativity. Just not enough financial reward to permanently stay home and write. But I loved the freedom of spending my days writing, reading and creating. 

I know I've said it before, but when I write (and when I am teaching yoga) I feel like I am living my dharma. 

So, OK, an actual plan:

• Continue to write
• Commit to writing more regularly
• Continually remind myself that I must allow writing to be a priority in my life
• Be more intentional in seeking out paid writing opportunities
• Create a timeline, and follow the timeline, to publish book two
• Be more intentional in finding promotion opportunities for book one
• Stop the negative self talk of "I'm not a real writer if I also have to work a day job"

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

My Favorite Aspect Of Being A Writer

October 5 IWSG Question: What is your favorite aspect of being a writer?

My favorite aspect of being a writer... is feeling like a writer.

There are two times in my life where I really feel comfortable in my own skin. Two times that I feel like I'm fulfilling my dharma: teaching yoga and writing.

Most of my writing is done propped up on my bed late at night after work, after chores are done and after kids are in bed. I feel like a want-to-be writer then. Because, you know, "real" writers have cute little writing cottages on the beach where they can take breaks and walk the sand to find their latest best selling idea. And they don't have to work real jobs to pay the bills because their mail box is full of royalty checks.

These past few years I've been fortunate to travel to the West Coast a few times. They were much-needed mini vacations to reconnect with old friends, practice yoga in chic little studios and of course, to write.

Sitting in a Starbucks in Seattle - feel like a writer.
Walking the rocky Northwest beaches thinking of ideas - feel like a writer
Sitting in an airport with my laptop open - feel like a writer
Jotting down notes while waiting to meet my friend for the afternoon - feel like a writer

It's not just when I'm away that I feel like a writer. Right now I'm sitting in my local Starbucks waiting on my girls to be finished dance class. I've gotten into a good habit these past couple months of day job, home to kids, drop girls at dance, go to Starbucks and write, pick up girls and continue with mom chores for the evening.

I like my cherished moments here. In fact I try and pick the far back corner booth so I can hide in case people I know stop in. I don't want forced socialization to hinder my writing!

I suppose the theme here is my favorite aspect of being a writer... is sitting down and actually writing.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

Book Two Has Officially Begun

UPDATE: The Kindle version is complete and it looks GOOD! And, even better, there are good people in the world who stick to their word and help deliver a professional product. 

Before you read this post: I am only talking about the Kindle conversion of my book Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom. The paperback version is good and I'd be ever so grateful to anyone who bought it :) 

So tonight I reached my frustration limit.

I'm beyond annoyed and frustrated at some issues converting my book into Kindle format. I'm beyond annoyed and frustrated with some of the professional people I entrusted to help me.

I'm feeling like the little guy who is getting screwed over by the bigger guys.

But, because this is how my crazy mind works, I feel guilty for thinking that. What if they aren't screwing me over and I'm just being unreasonable? What if this is just the way people do business and I'm not equipped to play this way? What if I'm the one in the wrong? I'm embarrassed to have a Kindle book out there with my name on it that is sloppy, why aren't they? (Side note: I explained the whole situation to a fellow group of writers and every one of them agreed with me. But still, maybe...)

And I really hate thinking those things because I genuinely have enjoyed working with these other professionals. They have opened doors for me and guided me. But something over the summer changed and I feel like all I am anymore to them is an annoying little gnat.

And then one of the kids pissed me off and my paycheck was low because I'm still off work for my damn broken foot and ... well it was just turning out to be a really crappy evening.

So, out of anger and frustration, I began book two.

Weird right? The things that motivate us.

My motivation was "Well fine! If my book, that I worked so hard for, won't ever be the professional looking, well laid out Kindle version it is supposed to be, that I was promised it would be, I guess I have no choice but to live with that. BUT... I am not quite as naive to the way the book business works anymore. I know more. I'm more confident in my abilities. So... I will just start book two and make sure it turns out the way I want it to myself! So there!"

See, I am a little crazy.

But whatever. It's what finally got me to sit down and begin to map out book two.

I'm not announcing anything else yet other than I have officially begun book two. Because, if this process goes anything like it did last time, it'll be another year before I even talk about how much if any progress has been made. And if the book is finished, I'll probably then be scrambling asking people to help me because maybe I really can't or shouldn't do this all on my own.

When Do You Know Your Story Is Ready

October 5 IWSG Question: When do you know your story is ready?

You just do.

I say that like it's so easy.

But when I was writing my first book (get ready for a shameless plug here) Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom , I thought the book was finished more than once. Actually probably a few times.

Finish #1: I had completed the first draft. Years of thinking about writing and 9 months of writing had finally brought me to the point I WROTE A BOOK! Life is good. I have accomplished something.

Just a couple weeks later I got the unexpected news I was getting divorced. And it was not the nice amicable kind of divorce. I was so devastated I thought my life was over and my book was crap so I literally picked up the manuscript and threw it in the trash. Dumb, I know.

About a year later I was flying home to help my dad and I found the manuscript on my hard drive. I realized my life was not over - it just needed a rewrite!

Finish #2: The rewrite is complete! My book is complete! My life isn't over! And I sent draft number 2 off to the editor. She loved it. Life is good.

And... then I had a crisis with one of my children. Book? What book? My life was consumed with doctors, hospitals, therapists, blame and tears.

This lasted probably another 6 months.

Then, and I swear this is true, I awoke from sleeping in the middle of the night and wrote the ending to my book.

Just like that. It was finished.

And, this time, I knew it was ready.

It sure would have been nice not to have to go through those years of trauma and drama, but I can honestly say it made my book better because it made it real. Everything I wrote in that book I lived and learned. That book was truly my blood, sweat, tears, heart and soul.

I'm now in the process of contemplating book 2. It's in my head, I'm just having some trouble getting it on paper.

Hopefully it won't take so many years and so much heartache this time around.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them. 

Weekend Interrupted

My plans for this weekend:

Regular weekend chores,

Begin the final look through of my book before it is published to Kindle.

Write at least one blog post.

Finish parenting article and submit.

Begin writing next yoga article assignment.


What really happened this weekend: 

Regular weekend chores.

I got caught up in these online training videos I'm required to do for my job before next weekend's practical training. I knew there were at-home assignments required before next weekend, but I had no idea they would take this long. I've been working on them for hours now and I still have more to do!

Yes, I'm grateful I have a job. Yes I want to keep my job.

But I'm really resentful it is taking up my only two days off!

And even more resentful that I accomplished nothing on my writing list.

Since these videos all have quizzes and final exams attached to them, I pretty much have to give them my mostly undivided attention. So, back to the videos I go now.

Finding The Time To Write vs. Making The Time To Write

IWSG Question: How do you find the time to write in your busy day?

We all know the answer I'm supposed to give here. How do you find time to write? You make the time to write.

Blah blah blah

But the real answer is, often times I don't find/make the time. Many times there legitimately isn't time. And sometimes, well, I'm just too lazy.

That's why a couple hours hiding in the corner of Starbucks typing away is such a joy. Or why I do most of my writing after 10pm when the kids are pretty much settled for the night.  With the new school year starting we also have a new dance schedule for kids 4 and 6. I had to rearrange my work schedule a little bit to be able to get them to dance 4 nights per week on time. The plus side to that is I have built two nights into that schedule where I hope to drop them at dance, and then head off to my favorite corner booth and spend the time writing until I have to pick them up again.

That's the plan. How well that plan works out remains to be seen.

Between working, being a single mom and all the other day-to-day drudgery, finding the time to write is a challenge. Making the time to write is a choice.

A choice I really wish I wasn't so often too wore out to make. 

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them. 

My Writer's Life: A Series of Stops and Starts

IWSG Question: What was your very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer? Where is it now? Collecting dust or has it been published?

We would have to go way, way back to find my very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer. My bio says I've been "writing since I first picked up a crayon" and that is so  true.

I wrote for school newspapers in middle and high school.

My first paid writing was after my college internship at a small local community newspaper in Florida.  From there I wrote for magazines.

From there I got married, had babies, got depressed and stopped writing.

Fast forward a few years and I began this blog here.

I was very fortunate this blog caught the eye of the editor of an online publication and from there, as they say, it's history.

Except add in a few more stops and starts along the way.

My writing is good. But my ability to self sabotage is even better!

My writing career hasn't been linear. There have been times I've paid my bills with writing. Other times I've paid my bills with an assortment of other jobs and didn't write at all. I continually strive for the balance between working to survive and writing to succeed.

My life, like my writing, is a work in progress.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them. 

Hello? Is Anybody Still Reading? Am I Still Writing?

It's been just over a year since my first book was published. At first everything was so exciting!

Books were selling better than I had ever hoped for, I was being interviewed on television and having professional head shots made by a professional photographer ( no more selfies, this was the big time baby!)

Then, as was to be expected, the hype died down a bit. About once a month I was asked to do an interview or podcast. My monthly sales were erratic. Some months I'd sell a shockingly high number of books, other months I'd squeak by with one or two sales.

Now, to be sure I'm not being all negative, I have surpassed every sales goal I set for myself. I have reached audiences I never expected and had my essays published in big-time places like YAHOO! and Dr. Oz.

And, again to spotlight the positive, the money earned from book sales this past year is paying for a mini vacation for me and the kids this week. That's a very good positive!

It's been a good writing year!

But... it's been a slow past few months.

It started with taking on a temporary yet crappy overnight job which left me exhausted and in a perpetual bad mood. Finally I was offered more hours at my day job that I love and even though I gave up the crappy night job, my writing didn't pick up as much as I'd hoped.

A few interview possibilities I had hoped for fell through and a few pitches to other outlets were rejected.

So, basically, crickets.

I know this is normal. It is normal, right?

And I know the solution is to sit my butt down and get back to writing regularly. That is the solution, right?

And... I just looked and it's been a month since my last post.

OK, I need to shoo these crickets away and get busy again!

Procrastination As A Writing Method

Early March 2016: I have the honor of being asked to contribute to another author's book. This author is also host of a popular radio show, so it's kind of a big deal.  She asks me to write anywhere from 2,000 - 6,000 words and gives me the general idea of her theme. The deadline is only two weeks away but I tell her I will do my best.

I don't come anywhere near to trying my best.

Late March 2016: I completely miss the deadline. I have some guilt about this but use the excuse I wasn't completely clear on what specifically she wanted me to write.

Mid April 2016: The author, who again has a much bigger audience than I do so it really would benefit me to have my writing linked to hers, gets in touch with me again to say she got her editors to extend the deadline for me. She really wants my work included. The new deadline is May 26.

I promise her I will get it done.

And I do nothing.

I jot down some notes.

I decide 2,000 - 6,000 words is too vague, too much, too general.

May 8, 2016: My Mother's Day present to myself is to sneak off to Starbucks for the afternoon with nothing but my laptop, a book and my new Starbucks gift card.
My muse finally joins me and I write and write and write! This feels great! I'm not a bad writer! I can do this!

May 13 - 22, 2016: I travel to Chicago for Kid 2's boot camp graduation, return home for Kid 3's high school graduation, host a graduation party, attend Kid 4 and 6's dance recital. Writing deadline looms over me, but I am legitimately busy.

Monday May 23, 2016: I'll finish writing it tomorrow.

Tuesday May 24, 2016: I explain to the kids I need writing time and will be closing my bedroom door to get some work done. For the next few hours I: scan Facebook, watch Grey's Anatomy on Netflix, scroll through pictures on my phone, check emails, scan Facebook again, check my bank balance. Finally sit down and write about 11pm. I complete the piece but decide to wait until morning for one last review before submitting it.

Wednesday May 25, 2016: Awaken 30 minutes earlier than I normally do to read what I wrote the night before, decide I am pleased with it, spell check it, and send it off.

With a full 24 hours before the deadline!

The procrastination method worked again!

But, why oh why can't I be one of those serious writers who has a daily quiet writing time, a dedicated writing office and never, ever stresses over a deadline?

Small Accomplishments

I think sometimes we get so caught up in the highlights we post on Facebook that we forget to acknowledge our small accomplishments as well.

Today Kid 1 did something that just 4 months ago would have caused him such anxiety he'd certainly have chosen drugs or alcohol to self medicate himself. But today, he took a deep breath and he took a chance. When I told him how proud I was of him, he tried to downplay it. No, you have to give yourself credit for all the day-to-day small accomplishments that get you through life.

As I was thinking about that, I realized we all need to give ourselves more credit. I only post to social media when something I've written is picked up by a "big" outlet or I've done a TV or radio interview. Those things are way cool don't get me wrong.

But today, I took a pitch that had been rejected, carved time out of my day to be alone to work on it, and I resubmitted it somewhere else.

1 - I didn't let the rejection discourage me
2 - I made writing time a priority
3 - I took a chance and resubmitted to an outlet that's probably a better fit anyway

Three small accomplishments in one!

For now on, I'm going to stop feeling like a failure between the big moments and starting appreciating the small accomplishments in my life.

The Shameless Art of Self Promotion

So, now that I'm this big time author and I've been on TV I guess I'm kind of famous. Ah... the life of a celebrity.

Just kidding. I know I'm not famous in the way we usually mean it, but I have been interviewed on radio and TV and my kids think that's pretty cool. So I'm good with that level of fame!

I have this bad habit of playing small. I've done it for years! Any accomplishment or credit I get I immediately downplay. Why? Maybe I don't want to come across as boastful or arrogant? Maybe because I'm embarrassed? (Embarrassed of doing something good. That makes no sense at all). I've even been told I play small because I don't think I'm worthy.

The real reason is a mix of all those and then some. But playing small has gotten me... not very far.

So a few years ago I had this idea for a book. It took me a long time to write it, partly because life kept getting in the way, partly because I was playing small and afraid to actually let my dream come true. Little ol' me a published author? No way.

But I finally finished the book and had it published! Woo Hoo!

(Get ready for a shameless plug here)

You can buy Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom on Amazon or any major retailer where books are sold. You can also buy it out of the trunk of my car. Seriously, I keep some in my car to sell. And believe it or not I've sold quite a few that way.

Is that really a shameless plug? Or is it self promotion?

I am learning that not only is it OK to self promote, it is encouraged and expected. And, in fact, self promotion is the best promotion there is! No agent in the world is going to be more connected to your story or product more than you.

Who better to tell your story than you?!

It's a lesson I learned very quickly this summer. I call it the" Summer The Universe Kicked My Butt Out The Door And Away From Playing Small".

It began, as these things usually do, with making a connection through a friend. I know someone who knew someone who knew someone, and I ended up being interviewed for a magazine. That led to a radio interview. Then another radio interview on a bigger platform.

Eventually my work caught the eye of some local media people and I was asked to do the Marybeth Conley radio show. Which led to the Earle Farrell radio show.

(Cue music to Moving On Up here)

That led to an interview on WREG Memphis Live at Nine. My first live TV interview!

And what was my first thought when I was asked to be on TV?

"Oh my god what do I wear?!"

I wasn't too concerned about what to say, my content, after all, was my story. I knew I could tell  my story. I just was a little nervous about telling it on LIVE TV. What if I looked dumb?

With radio, there was no concern about looking dumb. Now sounding dumb, perhaps. But I've discovered radio is a more intimate setting. Just you, the interviewer and a big microphone in your face. If I brushed my hair out of my face or talked with my hands as I often do it didn't matter.

Radio felt like sitting in the kitchen talking to a friend.

TV is like sitting in your kitchen talking to a friend, with 10 people looking on giving direction, adjusting lighting, testing your sound level, counting down the time, and all telling you to just act natural.

I will admit, if you watch my Live at Nine interview for the first few seconds I look scared to death. I wasn't scared, I just wasn't sure what to do or where to look. I was told not to look at the monitors, But did I look at the camera? The host?

Once the interview began I loosened up and felt more at ease. Again, I was telling my story. No one else in the world can tell my story, so it quickly felt natural. Or as natural as it can feel with bright lights and cameras in front of you.

So, looking forward to more promotional opportunities heading my way, I will remind myself of the following things I've learned this summer:

1. I worked for this and I earned this
2. I will let myself enjoy this moment
3. Wear solid colors on live TV, prints just don't look that good
4. A little extra make up can cover up a very tired look
5. Don't trust google directions time estimates. Leave about 15 minutes early
6. Surround yourself with people who believe in you
7. Bring at least one extra book everywhere to give away to anyone willing to read it
8. Remember, they wouldn't have invited you if they didn't think you had something of value to say
9. Let your kids think you're famous
10. Have fun

I Am A Serious Writer! No, Really I Am. Sometimes.

For this month of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, more of my insecure ramblings.

I've been told by those in the know that I need to start taking my writing career more seriously if I want others to take me seriously. Well I know that.

But, what if I take myself seriously and they laugh at me?
What if I take myself seriously and do the things that have been suggested  and it ends up all being for nothing away?
What if I take myself seriously, do the things that are suggested, but then have to pull back because of another family or financial crisis?
What if...

You get the insecure picture right?

The suggestions I've received have included:

• Get a real professional head shot and for the love of God please stop using that selfie you took in your car!
• Send out at least three pitches weekly
• Create a new website with a dedicated URL (this is the one causing me the most angst)
• Develop my purpose, mission and vision
• Write out my ultimate wish list
• Get to work on my second book

So, after doing my usual 'do nothing out of fear' for a few weeks thing, I finally completed step one - a real professional head shot.

I contacted my new friend and famed Memphis photographer Marci Lambert and told her what I needed. Outwardly she was excited for me, but I'm sure she groaned a bit inside. She was the photographer for my first photo shoot commissioned by a local magazine. I didn't exactly give her a hard time, but I didn't make it super easy on her either with my whining about how I don't like my picture taken and I don't like any picture ever taken of me.

But, Marci is amazing and she managed to put me at ease and she even convinced me to smile!

So step one - complete!

Step two - three pitches weekly? Three? I get it, I get it. The more you write, the more you submit, the more you publish. OK, I'll work on that.

Step three - a new website with dedicated URL. But that means leaving Blogger! Of everything on the suggestion list this one is my biggest hang up. I can't even handle the thought of losing everything I've done here these past five years. Literally, it makes me anxious and tense just thinking about it.

But I understand the need. No one is going to Google Diapers, Detentions & Downdogs. They are going to Google my name.

I simply can't pay anyone to create the switch for me, there's just no budget for it. Which means figuring it out on my own.

Anyone have any advice on switching from Blogger to a new URL? What about all you Word Press people?

Any and all advice or assistance would be very very appreciated for creating a dedicated URL!

Four - my purpose, mission and vision. Ummmmm. Well I always say I want to help women find their voice. I suppose I could jazz that up.

Five - my ultimate wish list. I've told everyone this - I want to get my book on the Ellen Show! Why Ellen? Because she loves yoga and she loves her mom. It's just a bonus that my kids will think I am the coolest mom ever if they see me on Ellen!

Six - start writing book two. Actually, and this will be the first time I'm publicly admitting this, I think book two is beginning to rattle around in my brain. But I'll save that for next months Insecure Writer's Support Group post.

This is the picture from my first professional photo shoot. Marci may have got me to smile, but I still think I look scared half to death in this one. Hopefully I look much more relaxed - and more serious about myself and my work - in the second one posted above.

Writing The Crazy Out

I've been very honest about the reason I write is to get the crazy out of my head. In fact there's a section of my book titled Get The Crazy Out (Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom).  I'm a big believer in getting the demons out of your head and onto the paper.

But sometimes, the demons don't want to go away. Sometimes they are hunkered down for the long haul and no amount of writing, exercise or ice cream will make them go away.

And then I feel stuck. Depression sets in. I lose all interest in writing. I can barely bring myself to read the posts from all the other amazing bloggers I follow who don't ever seem to get down and stuck.

They don't ever get writer's block. Maybe they don't even have demons? Maybe their life is filled with unicorns and writer's retreats?

Not me. My life seems to be one crisis after another. To the point that I even don't want to talk to friends anymore for fear of being "that girl who only ever has bad news". I pull away from friends and loved ones so my negativity doesn't bring them down too.

Yet the demons in my head are still screaming. I've managed to jot down a few notes this past week of the randomness in my mind. Maybe eventually they will turn into amazing pieces of writing. Or maybe I'll forget about them until they start shouting again.

Writing is an isolating activity. Living in turmoil is isolating. I am constantly surrounded by people all screaming at me to meet their needs, yet I feel so alone. And I feel like I'm failing everyone, including myself.

Yet my book is called Creating A Joyful Life. I don't feel very joyful right now. If I admit that does it mean I'm a hypocrite?

Add hypocrisy to the list of my insecurities today.

It's Called Stealing And If You Steal You Suck!

I suppose I should be flattered...

BUT I AM NOT.

So, it turns out that not everyone values artistic integrity.

This summer two very popular posts I wrote not only went viral but they also made it all the way to the Yahoo home page. YES! However, I also soon realized that both those posts had been stolen and reprinted without permission on to other websites.

Yes, stolen. And no I'm not being dramatic.

When someone takes a post and reprints it on their website, without permission and without attribution, it is intellectual theft.

Theft! Call the police.

Except there really is no Internet police.

I could send a Cease and Desist letter. I could even send a Take Down Notice to the website informing them that under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) they must take down the portion of their website that contains my writing.

But, really, I'm not sure it's would do much good.

Until tonight. Tonight I realized a couple websites are selling unauthorized and illegal downloadable copies of my book.

Oh hell nah!

I suppose I should be flattered.

BUT I AM NOT.

One website is in German so I really have no idea if it's even translated correctly. The other American website is hosted on a popular and reputable blog publishing service and run by a woman with the word "mummy" in her blog title.

Hey mummy, do you teach your kids that stealing is wrong?

Again, I suppose I could waste my time sending Cease and Desist letters. But I probably won't. Except to "mummy". She's getting one for sure.

However, I do want to say to anyone out there that thinks it's OK to take someone elses work and copy it, give it away or call it your own ... YOU SUCK.

I also want to say to anyone who has legally purchased my book, who has read my writings, and even commented on or passed along something I've written... THANK YOU.  Sincerely and truly thank you to all who have read, commented, challenged and encouraged me.

For the rest of you, I'm adding a copyright notice to my blog here. The book was, of course, copyrighted and anything you see linked to a published website is copyrighted.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Stealing just makes you a thief.

This blog button was legally copied from
lorelle.wordpress.com who
graciously shares info and
advice on
content theft