Solar Eclipse 2017

This year families have the unique opportunity to experience a rare solar phenomena: a total solar eclipse. While eclipses happen in some part of the world with regularity, this year’s eclipse will be visible in just about every part of the United States on Monday, August 21. Here are some ways you can make the most out of this amazing event:

Click here to read 5 Tips For Nerding Out On This Year's Solar Eclipse

Reading Pet Peeves

August 2 Question: What are your pet peeves when reading/writing/editing?

My biggest pet peeve when I read a book is having to go back a chapter to read it again because the story line doesn't make sense!

I recently read a book that alternated chapters writing from first person current time, to first person past time and then third person past time. What? To make it worse, the third person past time kept changing names for the same person.

I kept getting confused and having to go back and reread.  When I went to Goodreads to leave a review most of the other reviewers complained about the same issue. I still gave the book three stars though because the story really had potential. Also, I don't believe in publicly bashing anyone. If the book was truly horrible or I couldn't even finish it, I wouldn't even leave a review.

Side note: To my fellow writer's out there, please, please be a considerate reader and leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. You know how much authors depend on reviews to move their book up in search engines and ratings. The more reviews (not even necessarily all fabulous reviews) the higher up the book is placed and more people will see it.

Then I had to wonder, how did a book getting these kind of reviews, with so many people saying the story line doesn't make sense, get a publishing deal? Especially considering how many good writers there are out there who would give their eyeteeth to be published. 

When it comes to the writing and editing process, my pet peeve is that it just doesn't always come as easily as I would like. Sometimes the muse strikes and I can write for hours. Other times, I have to bang my head against the computer before I can barely type out a few coherent sentences. That's frustrating, but just part of the process I suppose.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

Writing Recycling

March 1 question: Have you ever pulled out a really old story and reworked it? Did it work out?

Yes! Who hasn't? Or why wouldn't you?

Most of the writers in the Insecure Writer's Support Group are fiction writers so I'm sure this question is really meant for those old half written stories that never got finished. But, as a nonfiction writer, I have often pulled out old blog posts, old ideas jotted down or even an already published piece to rework it and republish it.

As a freelance writer you have to find a way to get the most from your writing. Usually it's rewriting a piece with a different angle for a different publication. Or expanding on a shorter post to make it more in-depth.

I'm still in my writing funk and not doing much, if any, writing. Let alone any rewriting. I'm still not sure what that is about.

Maybe I'll go through some of my old stuff and see if there is anything to refresh and renew my writing spark.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

Writing & Reading

February 1 question: How has being a writer changed your experience as a reader?

First, before I get to this month's question, let me point out the obvious. This is not the first Wednesday of the month.

The Insecure Writer's Support Group meets the first Wednesday of every month. I've been participating for at least a year now so I know how this works. I knew what this months question was and I was ready to answer it this Wednesday.

But... this Wednesday won't be the first Wednesday of the month. How I missed last Wednesday, especially since it was February 1, I really don't know. 

Nevertheless, here we are.

I used to feel like I had to finish a book even if I didn't like it. Almost like leaving a book half read was a sin or something. I have no idea where that belief came from, but it led to forcing myself to read some very forgettable works of literature.

As I have grown in my writing, I realize if something doesn't speak to me, it is OK to put it down. Part of it is I'm older and busier and just don't have the time anymore. Part of it is I get annoyed by bad writing. Especially bad editing! If the author didn't take the time to publish her best work, why should I take the time to read it? And if it is her best work, well congratulations for having the courage to get your writing out there to the world. That's something not many other people can do. You should be proud. Unfortunately, this piece just isn't for me.

And that's OK. Because I also write books, blog posts, and magazine articles that not everybody enjoys. You have permission to read what I write. And if you don't like it, thank you for at least clicking here and I hope you will give me another chance.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them

Writing Rules: The Stupid Ones Anyway

January 4 Question: What writing rule do you wish you'd never heard?

 Writing rules that are stupid yet I still somehow seem to feel the need to follow:

1. Real writers have million dollar advances, are interviewed by Oprah and are driven around in chauffeured limos to sold out book readings.
2. Real writers have a writing room/writing cottage on the beach (or in the mountains) where they have floor to ceiling shelves full of classic literature. They retreat alone to these writing cottages on the beach (mountains) for months at a time to write and only stop occasionally to eat when the local town's food delivery service arrives.
3. Real writers write every day no matter what.
4. Real writers don't waste time Netflix binging.
5. Real writers don't question whether they are a real writer.

Those are my rules for being a writer.

I am well aware that they are all made up and self imposed rules that are impossible for 99.99% of writers to follow or ever achieve.

But, they are still what I am working toward. 

Except for number 4 because Orange Is The New Black should be coming back to Netflix very soon and I'm not missing that for anything or anyone.

Except Oprah. When Oprah calls I will hop on a plane faster than she can say book club!

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them

The Five-Year Writing Plan

December 7 Question: In terms of your writing career, where do you see yourself five years from now, and what’s your plan to get there?

A five-year plan. Well I don't have a concrete long term plan. Except to keep writing of course.

I have made the commitment to begin book two and would like to have it published no later than the beginning of 2018. I was originally thinking next summer but I'm not sure I can get a quality product out in that time.

Of course I would like to continue earning money for my writing. I am happy that my writing brings in a monthly income, but there's always a desire to increase the amount. 

I suppose in five years I would like to be where I've always wanted to be -- a full time writer earning enough money to not have to work a "real job". 

My two favorite times in the past year were on the surface not very good times; Last summer when I was laid off from my full time job and without another full time job for four months. And then these past couple months when I was home with a broken foot on workers comp. Both of those times off of work saw big bursts of writing and creativity. Just not enough financial reward to permanently stay home and write. But I loved the freedom of spending my days writing, reading and creating. 

I know I've said it before, but when I write (and when I am teaching yoga) I feel like I am living my dharma. 

So, OK, an actual plan:

• Continue to write
• Commit to writing more regularly
• Continually remind myself that I must allow writing to be a priority in my life
• Be more intentional in seeking out paid writing opportunities
• Create a timeline, and follow the timeline, to publish book two
• Be more intentional in finding promotion opportunities for book one
• Stop the negative self talk of "I'm not a real writer if I also have to work a day job"

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

The Kindle Version Has Arrived

Woo Hoo!

The Kindle version of Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom is finally here!

If you are a member of Kindle Unlimited you can read the book for FREE!

(Kindle Unlimited pays authors for the number of pages read in a Kindle Unlimited book. So please, actually read the book - or at least flip the pages -  if you download it for free!)

If you are one of the many readers I am forever grateful to who bought the paperback version, you can download the Kindle version for only $1.99. Why would you want the Kindle version if you already have the paperback version you ask? Well, because the Kindle version is new and improved! A few corrections and updated info have been added.

I don't know if all the fabulous reviews so many of you have posted on the paperback edition will transfer to the Kindle edition as well. But, as always, I am so appreciative of everyone who takes the time to review the book on both Amazon and GoodReads.com .

It's been a year since Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom was released. Having it out on Kindle now is just as exciting!

My Favorite Aspect Of Being A Writer

October 5 IWSG Question: What is your favorite aspect of being a writer?

My favorite aspect of being a writer... is feeling like a writer.

There are two times in my life where I really feel comfortable in my own skin. Two times that I feel like I'm fulfilling my dharma: teaching yoga and writing.

Most of my writing is done propped up on my bed late at night after work, after chores are done and after kids are in bed. I feel like a want-to-be writer then. Because, you know, "real" writers have cute little writing cottages on the beach where they can take breaks and walk the sand to find their latest best selling idea. And they don't have to work real jobs to pay the bills because their mail box is full of royalty checks.

These past few years I've been fortunate to travel to the West Coast a few times. They were much-needed mini vacations to reconnect with old friends, practice yoga in chic little studios and of course, to write.

Sitting in a Starbucks in Seattle - feel like a writer.
Walking the rocky Northwest beaches thinking of ideas - feel like a writer
Sitting in an airport with my laptop open - feel like a writer
Jotting down notes while waiting to meet my friend for the afternoon - feel like a writer

It's not just when I'm away that I feel like a writer. Right now I'm sitting in my local Starbucks waiting on my girls to be finished dance class. I've gotten into a good habit these past couple months of day job, home to kids, drop girls at dance, go to Starbucks and write, pick up girls and continue with mom chores for the evening.

I like my cherished moments here. In fact I try and pick the far back corner booth so I can hide in case people I know stop in. I don't want forced socialization to hinder my writing!

I suppose the theme here is my favorite aspect of being a writer... is sitting down and actually writing.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

Book Two Has Officially Begun

UPDATE: The Kindle version is complete and it looks GOOD! And, even better, there are good people in the world who stick to their word and help deliver a professional product. 

Before you read this post: I am only talking about the Kindle conversion of my book Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom. The paperback version is good and I'd be ever so grateful to anyone who bought it :) 

So tonight I reached my frustration limit.

I'm beyond annoyed and frustrated at some issues converting my book into Kindle format. I'm beyond annoyed and frustrated with some of the professional people I entrusted to help me.

I'm feeling like the little guy who is getting screwed over by the bigger guys.

But, because this is how my crazy mind works, I feel guilty for thinking that. What if they aren't screwing me over and I'm just being unreasonable? What if this is just the way people do business and I'm not equipped to play this way? What if I'm the one in the wrong? I'm embarrassed to have a Kindle book out there with my name on it that is sloppy, why aren't they? (Side note: I explained the whole situation to a fellow group of writers and every one of them agreed with me. But still, maybe...)

And I really hate thinking those things because I genuinely have enjoyed working with these other professionals. They have opened doors for me and guided me. But something over the summer changed and I feel like all I am anymore to them is an annoying little gnat.

And then one of the kids pissed me off and my paycheck was low because I'm still off work for my damn broken foot and ... well it was just turning out to be a really crappy evening.

So, out of anger and frustration, I began book two.

Weird right? The things that motivate us.

My motivation was "Well fine! If my book, that I worked so hard for, won't ever be the professional looking, well laid out Kindle version it is supposed to be, that I was promised it would be, I guess I have no choice but to live with that. BUT... I am not quite as naive to the way the book business works anymore. I know more. I'm more confident in my abilities. So... I will just start book two and make sure it turns out the way I want it to myself! So there!"

See, I am a little crazy.

But whatever. It's what finally got me to sit down and begin to map out book two.

I'm not announcing anything else yet other than I have officially begun book two. Because, if this process goes anything like it did last time, it'll be another year before I even talk about how much if any progress has been made. And if the book is finished, I'll probably then be scrambling asking people to help me because maybe I really can't or shouldn't do this all on my own.

When Do You Know Your Story Is Ready

October 5 IWSG Question: When do you know your story is ready?

You just do.

I say that like it's so easy.

But when I was writing my first book (get ready for a shameless plug here) Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom , I thought the book was finished more than once. Actually probably a few times.

Finish #1: I had completed the first draft. Years of thinking about writing and 9 months of writing had finally brought me to the point I WROTE A BOOK! Life is good. I have accomplished something.

Just a couple weeks later I got the unexpected news I was getting divorced. And it was not the nice amicable kind of divorce. I was so devastated I thought my life was over and my book was crap so I literally picked up the manuscript and threw it in the trash. Dumb, I know.

About a year later I was flying home to help my dad and I found the manuscript on my hard drive. I realized my life was not over - it just needed a rewrite!

Finish #2: The rewrite is complete! My book is complete! My life isn't over! And I sent draft number 2 off to the editor. She loved it. Life is good.

And... then I had a crisis with one of my children. Book? What book? My life was consumed with doctors, hospitals, therapists, blame and tears.

This lasted probably another 6 months.

Then, and I swear this is true, I awoke from sleeping in the middle of the night and wrote the ending to my book.

Just like that. It was finished.

And, this time, I knew it was ready.

It sure would have been nice not to have to go through those years of trauma and drama, but I can honestly say it made my book better because it made it real. Everything I wrote in that book I lived and learned. That book was truly my blood, sweat, tears, heart and soul.

I'm now in the process of contemplating book 2. It's in my head, I'm just having some trouble getting it on paper.

Hopefully it won't take so many years and so much heartache this time around.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them. 

Finding The Time To Write vs. Making The Time To Write

IWSG Question: How do you find the time to write in your busy day?

We all know the answer I'm supposed to give here. How do you find time to write? You make the time to write.

Blah blah blah

But the real answer is, often times I don't find/make the time. Many times there legitimately isn't time. And sometimes, well, I'm just too lazy.

That's why a couple hours hiding in the corner of Starbucks typing away is such a joy. Or why I do most of my writing after 10pm when the kids are pretty much settled for the night.  With the new school year starting we also have a new dance schedule for kids 4 and 6. I had to rearrange my work schedule a little bit to be able to get them to dance 4 nights per week on time. The plus side to that is I have built two nights into that schedule where I hope to drop them at dance, and then head off to my favorite corner booth and spend the time writing until I have to pick them up again.

That's the plan. How well that plan works out remains to be seen.

Between working, being a single mom and all the other day-to-day drudgery, finding the time to write is a challenge. Making the time to write is a choice.

A choice I really wish I wasn't so often too wore out to make. 

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them. 

My Writer's Life: A Series of Stops and Starts

IWSG Question: What was your very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer? Where is it now? Collecting dust or has it been published?

We would have to go way, way back to find my very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer. My bio says I've been "writing since I first picked up a crayon" and that is so  true.

I wrote for school newspapers in middle and high school.

My first paid writing was after my college internship at a small local community newspaper in Florida.  From there I wrote for magazines.

From there I got married, had babies, got depressed and stopped writing.

Fast forward a few years and I began this blog here.

I was very fortunate this blog caught the eye of the editor of an online publication and from there, as they say, it's history.

Except add in a few more stops and starts along the way.

My writing is good. But my ability to self sabotage is even better!

My writing career hasn't been linear. There have been times I've paid my bills with writing. Other times I've paid my bills with an assortment of other jobs and didn't write at all. I continually strive for the balance between working to survive and writing to succeed.

My life, like my writing, is a work in progress.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them. 

Hello? Is Anybody Still Reading? Am I Still Writing?

It's been just over a year since my first book was published. At first everything was so exciting!

Books were selling better than I had ever hoped for, I was being interviewed on television and having professional head shots made by a professional photographer ( no more selfies, this was the big time baby!)

Then, as was to be expected, the hype died down a bit. About once a month I was asked to do an interview or podcast. My monthly sales were erratic. Some months I'd sell a shockingly high number of books, other months I'd squeak by with one or two sales.

Now, to be sure I'm not being all negative, I have surpassed every sales goal I set for myself. I have reached audiences I never expected and had my essays published in big-time places like YAHOO! and Dr. Oz.

And, again to spotlight the positive, the money earned from book sales this past year is paying for a mini vacation for me and the kids this week. That's a very good positive!

It's been a good writing year!

But... it's been a slow past few months.

It started with taking on a temporary yet crappy overnight job which left me exhausted and in a perpetual bad mood. Finally I was offered more hours at my day job that I love and even though I gave up the crappy night job, my writing didn't pick up as much as I'd hoped.

A few interview possibilities I had hoped for fell through and a few pitches to other outlets were rejected.

So, basically, crickets.

I know this is normal. It is normal, right?

And I know the solution is to sit my butt down and get back to writing regularly. That is the solution, right?

And... I just looked and it's been a month since my last post.

OK, I need to shoo these crickets away and get busy again!

Procrastination As A Writing Method

Early March 2016: I have the honor of being asked to contribute to another author's book. This author is also host of a popular radio show, so it's kind of a big deal.  She asks me to write anywhere from 2,000 - 6,000 words and gives me the general idea of her theme. The deadline is only two weeks away but I tell her I will do my best.

I don't come anywhere near to trying my best.

Late March 2016: I completely miss the deadline. I have some guilt about this but use the excuse I wasn't completely clear on what specifically she wanted me to write.

Mid April 2016: The author, who again has a much bigger audience than I do so it really would benefit me to have my writing linked to hers, gets in touch with me again to say she got her editors to extend the deadline for me. She really wants my work included. The new deadline is May 26.

I promise her I will get it done.

And I do nothing.

I jot down some notes.

I decide 2,000 - 6,000 words is too vague, too much, too general.

May 8, 2016: My Mother's Day present to myself is to sneak off to Starbucks for the afternoon with nothing but my laptop, a book and my new Starbucks gift card.
My muse finally joins me and I write and write and write! This feels great! I'm not a bad writer! I can do this!

May 13 - 22, 2016: I travel to Chicago for Kid 2's boot camp graduation, return home for Kid 3's high school graduation, host a graduation party, attend Kid 4 and 6's dance recital. Writing deadline looms over me, but I am legitimately busy.

Monday May 23, 2016: I'll finish writing it tomorrow.

Tuesday May 24, 2016: I explain to the kids I need writing time and will be closing my bedroom door to get some work done. For the next few hours I: scan Facebook, watch Grey's Anatomy on Netflix, scroll through pictures on my phone, check emails, scan Facebook again, check my bank balance. Finally sit down and write about 11pm. I complete the piece but decide to wait until morning for one last review before submitting it.

Wednesday May 25, 2016: Awaken 30 minutes earlier than I normally do to read what I wrote the night before, decide I am pleased with it, spell check it, and send it off.

With a full 24 hours before the deadline!

The procrastination method worked again!

But, why oh why can't I be one of those serious writers who has a daily quiet writing time, a dedicated writing office and never, ever stresses over a deadline?

The Sky's The Limit Radio Interview

I never really know what to expect when going for an interview. Sometimes it's very obvious the interviewer has no idea what me or my book is about. Other times the interviewer has done her homework and the time flows smoothly and easily.

This radio interview was one of those smooth, easy, enjoyable interviews.

Karen Leavitt's show The Sky's The Limit airs on VoiceAmerica. She books guests who she feels empower resilience and courage. So I am quite honored she chose to interview me.

Of course we talked about my book Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom. But we also talked on some pretty heavy topics like depression and divorce. But the theme through it all was creating joy out of chaos.

Please click here ----->    Crazy Can Be Joyful  and take a listen. As always, if you like what you hear, PLEASE share it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media. Word of mouth is the best recommendation I can ask for!

Small Accomplishments

I think sometimes we get so caught up in the highlights we post on Facebook that we forget to acknowledge our small accomplishments as well.

Today Kid 1 did something that just 4 months ago would have caused him such anxiety he'd certainly have chosen drugs or alcohol to self medicate himself. But today, he took a deep breath and he took a chance. When I told him how proud I was of him, he tried to downplay it. No, you have to give yourself credit for all the day-to-day small accomplishments that get you through life.

As I was thinking about that, I realized we all need to give ourselves more credit. I only post to social media when something I've written is picked up by a "big" outlet or I've done a TV or radio interview. Those things are way cool don't get me wrong.

But today, I took a pitch that had been rejected, carved time out of my day to be alone to work on it, and I resubmitted it somewhere else.

1 - I didn't let the rejection discourage me
2 - I made writing time a priority
3 - I took a chance and resubmitted to an outlet that's probably a better fit anyway

Three small accomplishments in one!

For now on, I'm going to stop feeling like a failure between the big moments and starting appreciating the small accomplishments in my life.

6 In The City TV Interview

Earlier this month I took the day off work, put on some girl clothes, a little (a lot) of make up and sat down for an interview with 6 In The City, a local Jackson, Tn television station.

Since it was a local station and not a network I wasn't sure what to expect. (How diva does that sound! It wasn't a network interview, like I'm some big celebrity or something. Ha!)  But, in an interesting and unexpected twist, my Amazon book sales took a big jump in the few days after the interview aired.

Lesson learned? You never know who is watching!

Another lesson learned? Wear clothes that you are comfortable in and make you feel good. Fortunately you can't see me tugging at my shirt or trying to sit in a better position on the couch.

YouTube was giving me difficulty embedding the video directly here. But you can click the link and give it a watch!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_fIv5u4m50&t=20m45s

Woman On The Verge of Paradise : Book Review

Spoiler alert -- the book you are about to read does not end with "The knight in shining armor rode in on his white horse, rescued the fair maiden, and they lived happily ever after."

And I am so glad it doesn't end that way!

Woman On The Verge of Paradise is the latest book by Robyn Alana Engel, my new friend and fellow blogger at Life By Chocolate. The book is Robyn's "memoir-ish" story of growing up feeling like you don't quite fit in, becoming a writer, looking for love, getting married, getting divorced, still writing, and still looking for love. And realizing that a life not mated isn't just OK, it's actually pretty good.

So basically it's the story of my life, and the life of many other middle aged, divorced women I know.

I had the opportunity to do a little Q&A with Robyn and she provided even more insight into her life and her work.

Do you still believe in the fairy tale ending? 
No, I don't. Sigh. Almost all romances are happy-go-lucky at first. Then reality serves a fierce sucker punch to the gutt and we're knocked onto our tuchases.* *Yiddish for butts, rear-ends, derrieres, and/or asses; I was trying to be polite.

Are you still hoping/waiting for the fairy tale ending?
Well, I did recently sign onto on-line dating again, and I am looking for love. But I'm certainly not hoping or waiting for the traditional fairy tale ending.

Do you have any regrets about your marriage?
That's a great question. Yes, I have so many regrets - that I fell for him in the first place, that I lost myself to the relationship, that I didn't respect my feelings of discomfort, that he fared so badly and in ways I won't get into now. Several years ago, though, I decided that I can carry regrets. Regrets are human and manageable. Meanwhile, I decided that I don't deserve the guilt or shame or other sorts of self-abusive crap we do to ourselves. Life is hard enough. So I have regrets, but I don't fault myself. I entered the relationship with a pure, trusting open-heart. And that's a beautiful thing.

In hindsight, the signs of trouble were already there before the marriage. What did you learn from that time and how does it influence your current relationships? 
That's a key question too. Women are taught to sacrifice it all for the sake of marriage. It doesn't matter what kind of men we marry; so long as we marry. So I did everything for Justin and our relationship during the three years we were together. Gosh, it's tough to spell out all that I've learned, but I can sum it up by saying that self-love and self-respect are more important than anything else. Sadly, we aren't taught this basic truth. I'm more careful with my choices in men nowadays. I'm happier too. Life is a bit lighter, even though it's dark and heavy. But I'm quicker to laugh and smile, because I feel pretty darn good about me.

Any advice for other mature single ladies hoping/waiting/getting frustrated for their fairy tale ending?
Girlfriends, you are wonderful. You really are. Don't settle. Do not settle. I repeat: Don't even think about settling. Men, you're okay too. You shouldn't settle for a nagging, controlling diva. There are some very nice women *pointing at self* who know how to treat a guy right. Back to my gal pals, though, a few words: (1) chocolate, (2) Duracell, and (3) chocolate.

Anything else you think potential viewers would like to know?
I'm thrilled for every opportunity to put out. Oops, I meant, to put out my message. Phew! Close call. Seriously, though, I want my book to squelch the fairy tale to smithereens. I want to say to the world - in a big, bold way - that it's a great thing to live solely on your own terms. It's okay, and even a wonderful thing in many ways, to be single. I'm a single, non-parent, and I'm more content with myself and my life than I've ever felt before. I really want Woman on the Verge of Paradise to shift the world towards self-love and self-respect.

Also, it's by no means a girly book. There's very little full-fledged sex, no talk of "throbbing manhood," and a lot of penile incompetence. My male readers have loved the book too

Woman On The Verge of Paradise available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon. 

Join Up Dots Podcast.. and I Quit My Job

I haven't written in three months!

Not just haven't made a blog post, but I haven't written anything besides a grocery list in three months! Actually, if you saw my refrigerator you'd know I haven't even made a grocery list.

I've been busy. Obviously. I fell in to that trap I fall into way too often of working way too much, being way too tired and becoming way depressed. No writing, no exercise, no healthy eating. Just work, work, work.

Now, as a single mom fighting for every bit of child support I can get, I have no choice but to work. And work a lot. But, as I have asked many times before, at what cost?

I've not liked the part time over-night job I had for a long time. But being the overly loyal person I am, I was determined to stick it out. Then a series of family events, combined with changes within the company, combined with sheer exhaustion made me realize I was miserable!

And on the night I was at work when kid number 2 called to tell me he had arrived at boot camp, and as I could hear the drill instructors yelling behind him, and as one of the managers reminded me of the no cell phone policy (yeah like I wasn't going to take that call! Cell phone policy be damned when one of my kids calls!), I broke down crying. Yes, I was crying because kid 2 was gone. But I was also crying because I just couldn't stay in this job any longer.

It occurred to me that this job wasn't getting me anywhere closer to where I wanted to be. Not only wasn't it a career path I wanted, but it wasn't even helping all that much financially.

So, it's gone. I know it was the right decision and I have faith that another career/financial opportunity will present itself soon.

As I was thinking about all this, I remembered the podcast I did a couple months ago. I was a guest on Join Up Dots where the theme of the show is going after what you want in life. I did a lot of talking about not settling for less and taking chances on going after more. All while working a job I didn't like.

In fact, when the interviewer asked me if I was telling others to quit their jobs, I said absolutely not! I would never tell someone else to quit their job. No one can make that decision for anyone else. Only you know when the time is right.

Well, the time was right.

And, as usual, I really should listen to my own advice more often!

Here's the link to the podcast. Please take a listen, share the link via your social  media and even leave a comment on the Join Up Dots site. It really is a cool podcast full of inspirational people!

http://joinupdots.com/podcast/499-jennifer-williams-fields/

But At What Cost #Reverb15

As the year ends, and we look back at the joys, achievements and disappointments of the past twelve months, it's worth taking some time to recognise what our efforts have demanded of us and where our resources have been depleted.

Whether you have spent 2015 bringing some long-cherished project to fruition or simply trying to keep your head above water, it's likely that this has come at some cost to you.

How can you replenish your (physical, mental, spiritual and/or emotional) resources? What do you need most of all at this moment?

Busy, busy, busy. That's me.

But hard work pays off. This year I published my book, wrote a few big pieces that were very well received, began freelancing for a couple independent media sources, worked multiple part time jobs, oh yeah and still was full time mom to my six kids.

But at what cost?

Well, I'm tired. My back hurts from my new night job. I don't do nearly as much non-assigned writing as I used to.

I stayed married for 23 years because I thought it would be best for the kids. But at what cost?
I hope my daughters don't grow up to think they, too,  need to endure addiction and abuse just because they took a vow.

I finally divorced from the bad marriage and took on sole custody of the six kids. But at what cost?
I don't know how being raised by a mom, with a dad who never shows up for events or visitation, will affect my kids when they become parents.

I work multiple jobs to keep us financially afloat so the kids don't have to go without too much. But at what cost?
I wonder if they will look back and know mom did the best she could or if they will look back and realize they didn't get all the same perks their friends did.

My writing that has garnered the most attention has been open and raw and honest. I've received amazing feedback from people thanking me for letting them know they aren't alone. But at what cost? I've also had some truly horrible comments made to me. Hurtful, vile comments from anonymous trolls on the Internet.

But at what cost is always the question.

Recently, three unrelated people asked me if I'm dating. When I laughed and said no they asked why. When would I possibly have the time? The energy? Their point wasn't that I should actually be dating, I know what they really meant was I need to make time for me. To make sure I am taken care of as well.

Yes, I not only understand but agree.  I've turned down two offers to travel these past few months. The cost (not even necessarily financial) was just too high.

I suppose I could take a night off of work. Or splurge and get a pedicure. Right now I'm staying up way too late to write.

But, as always, at what cost?

This post is part of #Reverb15, a series of daily writing prompts found at Kat McNally Words To Soothe The Weary Soul.