Solar Eclipse 2017

This year families have the unique opportunity to experience a rare solar phenomena: a total solar eclipse. While eclipses happen in some part of the world with regularity, this year’s eclipse will be visible in just about every part of the United States on Monday, August 21. Here are some ways you can make the most out of this amazing event:

Click here to read 5 Tips For Nerding Out On This Year's Solar Eclipse

A Very Loud Very Crowded Week

YOU ALL ARE HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, TERRIBLE CHILDREN!

I've said that more than once this week. Kid 2 is home on leave from his new Navy duty station so all six kids are together for the first time since Christmas.

It's been a week of picking on each other, instigating trouble, inappropriate jokes, extremely loud video game playing, moving back and forth between bedrooms, all ganging up on me for fun and other obnoxious behavior.

I absolutely love it and have been smiling all week.

It's really interesting to watch them interact with each other knowing their time is limited. To see how although they are all mostly young adults now, they still revert to child-like sibling rivalry. They really are growing up yet they are strongly bonded together.

My hope is that someday they will all be grown and independent, yet still gather together at my house to make a mess and make me crazy.

That will be my definition of a parenting success.

An Almost Not Good, But Turned Out To Be Very Good Day

Today was a good day. One of those days that you have to hold on and be grateful for when they come around.

It had potential though to NOT be a good day.

We were supposed to leave early tomorrow morning on a road-trip adventure to Minneapolis. Kid 3, myself and Kid 5 had been planning this for weeks. We would see Kid 3's girlfriend, meet her family and visit the Mall of America.

But then about 1:30 this afternoon I got the phone call.

Kid 3's car needed about $700 worth of repair work. And the repairs were serious safety issues so they couldn't be put off until later.

We would be driving my car the 12 1/2 hours to Minneapolis, so transportation wasn't an issue. The $700 was the issue.

Kid 3 had enough to pay for the road trip, or enough to pay for the car. One of those crappy adult responsibility decisions that suck whether you are 18 or 48.

I am proud to say with very little hesitation he realized the road trip was off and he needed to pay for the car repairs.

That could have ruined the day. In the past I think it would have.

But not today.

This evening I had to go back to work to personal train just one client. Kids 3 and 5 came with me and got in a good workout themselves. When we got home, the rest of the kids joined us and we went to our favorite local burger and wings restaurant.

We didn't know the restaurant had started a new weekly trivia night every Wednesday. We had so much fun playing along as a family. It's even more fun playing now that the kids are teenagers and young adults and realizing how smart and well read they have become.

Between trivia rounds and burger bites, we got caught up on each others busy lives, laughed and genuinely enjoyed each others company.

Those rare moments of living life with ease are very special indeed.

Just A Magical Memorable Thursday Night

You are a Great mom and I think u became a better mom when u became mom And dad !

I've decided that compliment means more to me than any other I've received lately.

Tonight was just a Thursday night. Like most other Thursday nights we've had the past couple years.

But then, something changed.

It started with Kid 5 asking to pick up his friend and go PokemonGo hunting. I, as usual, groaned and told him how tired I was. But then Kid 4, and this is the really weird part, said "oh come on, I'll drive and we'll just go out for a bit."

(Note: Kid 4 has her permit and looks for any excuse to drive. But to help her younger brother hunt Pokemon? No, never.)

While Kid 5 and his friend ran through the park hunting Pokemon, Kid 4 and I sat by the car and listened to 80's and 90's music: Black Eyed Peas, Backstreet Boys, old Gwen Stefani hits. We sat by the car and sang loud. We laughed louder. We even busted out a few dance moves.

Three fun-filled hours later I got this comment on one of my Facebook posts from the evening:

You are a Great mom and I think u became a better mom when u became mom And dad !

Wow. I had to think about that for a minute. And, I think she's right.

I think I did become a bit of a better mom when I took on the role of mom and dad.

After the dust settled from the divorce, and the kids accepted the new reality that they had a father who no longer wanted to be a part of their life, the burden of being mom and dad fell to me.

But with the burden came freedom as well. 

So much of the pressure was off. I was no longer afraid to upset my ex-husband or to make him mad. I no longer was constantly on guard for his next outburst or had to be hyper vigilant to make sure he didn't act out towards the kids.

Both me and the kids were free to finally be ourselves. We now had the freedom to laugh without the fear of angering him. 

At one point tonight, Kid 4 asked if I realized it was already 11:30. 

"Oh, shoot no I didn't. Hey have you heard of MC Hammer," I asked as I started singing along to Can't Touch This. 

We never would have felt comfortable enough to be hanging out in a local park at 11:30pm singing and catching Pokemon. We would have been too afraid of what we would come home to.

But now, yes I am mom and dad, and sometimes, often times, that is a heavy load to carry.

But there are also times, maybe I need to let there be more of these times, that it's a great blessing to be the parent who gets to enjoy my kids as well. 

In Defense of Pokemon Go

No, I don't play Pokemon Go. But I'm really enjoying the game.

Yes, I can tell you where all the local PokeStops are and I can kind of explain what a squirtle is. I also am proud to report that Kid 5 "controls the gym" at Orgill Park.

If none of that sounds familiar to you, then I'm guessing you don't have children or haven't turned on the news these past few weeks.

Pokemon Go is all the rage with the kids these days. And by kids I'm including more than a few adults I know who are also playing the game.

I had a few errands to run this evening, and as has become the norm, those errands took about 20 minutes longer than they should have because I spent extra time driving around so Kid 5 can get to some extra PokeStops. As he was getting back in to my car  another car pulled in behind us with three young 20-something guys. They asked Kid 5 if he just took the gym.

"Yes!", he said. "Are you going to take it back now?"

These young guys told him no, they were going to let him keep the gym because they don't steal from kids.

Kid 5's smile was so big at that moment it made me smile too. And I was so impressed with the other guys that they let a younger kid "control a Pokemon gym" for just a little longer.

Yes, there is competition in Pokemon Go to level up, but there also seems to be a camaraderie among players. I've heard them tell each other where to go to find a rare Pokemon and share tips on the best PokeStops.

But the news doesn't show that stuff. More likely you've seen reports of kids walking into the street and getting hit by cars because they were too busy looking at their phones in search of Pokemon.  Or a few instances where players were robbed while playing Pokemon Go. There's even a video going around that shows a police car being sideswiped by another car. When the driver gets out to survey the damage, his first words to the cops are "that's what I get for playing this dumb ass game."

Sure, all those examples are bad. But kids have been running into the street chasing balls forever. Bad people are going to prey on the innocent no matter what. And distracted drivers are a menace whether it's Pokemon Go, texting or just simply not paying attention.

But, this game has done some really great things too.

Today I saw two different news stories about Pokemon Go. Children's hospitals across the nation are using the game to help children have a somewhat normal social life while confined to the hospital. And a nursing home is helping their elderly residents learn the game as a means of encouraging them to get up and walk around for exercise.

In my own home, I've experienced these near miracles:

• Kid 1 brought his new girlfriend home to meet Kid 5 and they all went together to hunt Pokemon
• Kid 3, who leaves for bootcamp in just a few days, has been spending extra time with Kid 5 willingly helping him find new Pokemon
• Kid 3 has been letting Kid 6 use his phone to play Pokemon Go
• This has all happened with NO FIGHTING amongst the siblings (the biggest miracle of all)

Even my normal errand running on the weekends has taken on a new meaning. I actually enjoy the extra time spent in the car listening to Kid 5 talk Pokemon. Just those few extra minutes and my willingness to take an alternate route home are all it takes for us to spend some time together and make him happy.

Kid 5 is too often the child who I am afraid is being left out. He's also the one that has had the hardest adjustment these past few years. 

So if a simple little game and a few extra minutes is all it takes for some happy, peaceful family time, then yes, I'm a fan of Pokemon Go.

Doesn't Everyone Have A Baseball Field In Their Back Yard?

When my now ex-husband and I bought this house with a huge backyard, the first thing I said was let's mow a ball field into the backyard!

He said no.

Many times over the years I said I was going to mow a ball field and each time he said no. I have no desire to go in to detail here about the control issues surrounding him telling me no, but this one issue became a very big deal to me.

It's been almost exactly three years since the infamous phone call letting me know my marriage was in fact over and I was getting a divorce, and I finally have a ball field in my back yard.

As I was out the other evening mowing the base lines, I kept thinking 'this is mine'. I am no longer controlled by him. I make my own decisions.

I realize to most people mowing the yard, and mowing a ball field into the yard, is a petty act of independence. But to me it is so much more.

It is a sign that I am no longer controlled by a very controlling man. I no longer care what he will think if he finds out. 

I am becoming more free.

Then an interesting thing happened. What started out as a F*** You to a ghost from my past, became an event where I just allowed myself to have fun for the sake of having fun.

The kids and I invited over a bunch of friends for a swim party/play ball/BBQ evening. 

First we played wiffle ball.

Then it was time for kickball.

 

And because our backyard really is that big, why not spray paint a Twister game into the yard too!












The night quickly transformed from past resentments keeping a hold of me to being able to look ahead to a happier, more fun-filled future.

And the ball field will be staying as a reminder that there is a happier future for me and my family.