Woman On The Verge of Paradise : Book Review

Spoiler alert -- the book you are about to read does not end with "The knight in shining armor rode in on his white horse, rescued the fair maiden, and they lived happily ever after."

And I am so glad it doesn't end that way!

Woman On The Verge of Paradise is the latest book by Robyn Alana Engel, my new friend and fellow blogger at Life By Chocolate. The book is Robyn's "memoir-ish" story of growing up feeling like you don't quite fit in, becoming a writer, looking for love, getting married, getting divorced, still writing, and still looking for love. And realizing that a life not mated isn't just OK, it's actually pretty good.

So basically it's the story of my life, and the life of many other middle aged, divorced women I know.

I had the opportunity to do a little Q&A with Robyn and she provided even more insight into her life and her work.

Do you still believe in the fairy tale ending? 
No, I don't. Sigh. Almost all romances are happy-go-lucky at first. Then reality serves a fierce sucker punch to the gutt and we're knocked onto our tuchases.* *Yiddish for butts, rear-ends, derrieres, and/or asses; I was trying to be polite.

Are you still hoping/waiting for the fairy tale ending?
Well, I did recently sign onto on-line dating again, and I am looking for love. But I'm certainly not hoping or waiting for the traditional fairy tale ending.

Do you have any regrets about your marriage?
That's a great question. Yes, I have so many regrets - that I fell for him in the first place, that I lost myself to the relationship, that I didn't respect my feelings of discomfort, that he fared so badly and in ways I won't get into now. Several years ago, though, I decided that I can carry regrets. Regrets are human and manageable. Meanwhile, I decided that I don't deserve the guilt or shame or other sorts of self-abusive crap we do to ourselves. Life is hard enough. So I have regrets, but I don't fault myself. I entered the relationship with a pure, trusting open-heart. And that's a beautiful thing.

In hindsight, the signs of trouble were already there before the marriage. What did you learn from that time and how does it influence your current relationships? 
That's a key question too. Women are taught to sacrifice it all for the sake of marriage. It doesn't matter what kind of men we marry; so long as we marry. So I did everything for Justin and our relationship during the three years we were together. Gosh, it's tough to spell out all that I've learned, but I can sum it up by saying that self-love and self-respect are more important than anything else. Sadly, we aren't taught this basic truth. I'm more careful with my choices in men nowadays. I'm happier too. Life is a bit lighter, even though it's dark and heavy. But I'm quicker to laugh and smile, because I feel pretty darn good about me.

Any advice for other mature single ladies hoping/waiting/getting frustrated for their fairy tale ending?
Girlfriends, you are wonderful. You really are. Don't settle. Do not settle. I repeat: Don't even think about settling. Men, you're okay too. You shouldn't settle for a nagging, controlling diva. There are some very nice women *pointing at self* who know how to treat a guy right. Back to my gal pals, though, a few words: (1) chocolate, (2) Duracell, and (3) chocolate.

Anything else you think potential viewers would like to know?
I'm thrilled for every opportunity to put out. Oops, I meant, to put out my message. Phew! Close call. Seriously, though, I want my book to squelch the fairy tale to smithereens. I want to say to the world - in a big, bold way - that it's a great thing to live solely on your own terms. It's okay, and even a wonderful thing in many ways, to be single. I'm a single, non-parent, and I'm more content with myself and my life than I've ever felt before. I really want Woman on the Verge of Paradise to shift the world towards self-love and self-respect.

Also, it's by no means a girly book. There's very little full-fledged sex, no talk of "throbbing manhood," and a lot of penile incompetence. My male readers have loved the book too

Woman On The Verge of Paradise available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon. 

Yoga Bitch: My Elephant Review Post

Reasons why you should read my latest Elephant Journal post:

I Want My Yoga Teacher's Life, But Just the Good Stuff

A Yoga Bitch Interview and Review

1. How can you not love a book called Yoga Bitch?
2. After talking with the author so much, I'm pretty sure she's the kind of person me and my friends would be friends with.
3. Have you ever drank your own pee? Sound gross? Read the book.
4. Of all the yoga journey books out there now, this one is the most real.
5. I don't get paid to write the YogaLifeWay blog so if I'm saying a book is worthy, than it's worthy! (Note: I'm willing to entertain offers to write for pay)
6. Support independent journalism and after reading my posts on Elephant Journal, check out the other cool posts by even cooler writers than me.

Yoga Book Club

I've written a few posts on here about my Twitter Yoga Book Club, #YOBC. I've met the most interesting people who all are reading the same book and I've been very fortunate to have corresponded with a few of the authors as well.

Out little #YOBC is growing with more and more members with each book we read. We have no joining requirements, you just comment on what you are reading when you feel like it. People will quote their favorite parts, discuss the authors point of view, or share similar experiences.

Yes, it's social media, but like I wrote in Not Your Momma's Book Club, it's a new era of book clubs. But I guarantee we get just as much, if not more, from this new technology. When in the days of living room book clubs would I have been able to speak directly to the author?

If you are on Twitter and want to join us, jump in anytime. Comment using #YOBC. Even if you aren't on Twitter, I think you'll enjoy these yoga books:

1. Yoga School Dropout - Lucy Edge
2. Poser, My Life In 23 Yoga Poses - Claire Dederer 
3. Holy Coy - Sarah MacDonald (read my review here)
4. A Life Worth Breathing - Max Strom ( read my review here)
5. Yoga Bitch - Suzanne Morrison - review to be posted soon

Have a book you think our #YOBC would really like? Please put the title and author in the comments section. I'm always looking for good books to read. And yes, I also read lots of non-yoga books too!

It's Not Geeky, It's a Book Club Kula

It's back - the return of Twitter Yoga Book Club!

I've written lots of posts about my love of and for yoga. And there have been more than a few posts about my love of reading and books. So how great that I get to combine those two passions in one great book club.

This is not the stereotypical, stuffy, meet in the living room kind of book club. No, we are a cool kula of yogi's and book nerds who take advantage of social media and tweet our discussion using #YOBC. By using Twitter, I get to share the books with people from literally all over the world. And, sometimes the author even joins our Twitter discussion which takes it to an all new level.

The group had taken an unofficial summer break, but with some prompting from me and the need for a new good read from Meredith LeBlanc, we will begin reading again August 20 with the release of the much awaited Yoga Bitch by Suzanne Morrison.

And.. I tweeted Ms. Morrison and she said she will definitely be a part of our discussion group!

So, if you are looking for a good book to read, or a cool group of yogi book geeks, check us out on Twitter. There's no timeline for reading and you can tweet your thoughts at any time.

Update: The book is officially released August 16. But you can pre-order now on Amazon and it will delivered either to your door or your Kindle on that day. But even if you don't get it right away, just join in the discussion when you can!

Crying Because of A Man: My Mom Would Be So Proud

If you are even remotely involved in my life you know by now Elephant Journal printed an article I wrote about the Yoga Book Club on Twitter.

In case you are the one person who has been hiding in a cave I haven't found yet to tell, you can read it here: My first Elephant Journal article! See that's really my name and picture!

A couple weeks ago Bob Weisenberg, Elephant Journal Yoga editor, emailed me and asked if I'd be interested in writing a story about the book club. At first I shouted YES. Then I sat down and wrote a proper, calm, cool and collected email response saying of course I would write something as time allowed.

Then I did nothing for 4 days, paralyzed by fear. Who am I to think I can write for Elephant Journal? Never mind I have a college degree in print communications, never mind I began my career days as a newspaper reporter and freelance magazine writer. That was years ago.

But in the back of my mind I kept thinking about my mom.  In one of our quiet moments together before she died, she told me how proud she was of me, how much she loved me and to get off my ass and start writing again.

Yep, that's my mom.

So finally I sat and I wrote and I emailed it off. And Mr Weisenberg - the Bob Weisenberg - said he loved it. He liked me,  he really liked me! Well OK, he liked my writing but I think if he spent enough time with me he'd like me too.

He said he'd not only like to print the book club article, but offer me a regular monthly blog on Elephant Journal.  Did you hear that mom? I got off my ass. I took a chance. And it worked.

Does this mean I've passed the Elephant Journal litmus test for coolness? Does it mean I'm a hipster yogi? I'm letting myself believe it does. (No worries about my head getting too big. I have six kids who right now are complaining about the gross dinner I made that will keep me very grounded.)

But mom's not here anymore for me to share this with her. And when I picked up the phone to tell my mom that the Bob Weisenberg from the Elephant Journal liked my writing, it hit me that mom really is gone now. Damn. She would be so proud of me.

So I cried because it feels so good to be writing again. It's been a piece of me that's been missing for too long now. And I cried because Bob Weisenberg validated that missing piece. And I cried because cancer stole my mom from me. And now another piece of me is missing that no one can ever replace.

So I shall keep writing. But first this cool, hipster yogi needs to go squash a dinner boycott. Mom would be so proud of that too.

Tweets and Books in the Yoga Community

I admit I'm a little late to the Twitter party. Much like my introduction to the Facebook world, it took a lot of convincing by a friend of mine to get me to join. At first I just didn't get the whole Twitter thing. Wasn't it just a forum for celebrities to spout off  their opinions or where they shopped or who they were dating? None of which I really cared about anyway. I'm not famous, who would care what I have to say? I'm not known for my deep and profound thoughts.

However, I'm really beginning to enjoy the Twitter world. I've met many wonderful yoga teachers and enthusiasts from all over the world that I otherwise would never have connected with. Even in our allotted 140 characters we can share yoga tips, teaching frustrations and general life experiences. Right now both @MeredithLeBlanc and I are helping care for our sick mothers. The funny posts from @yogasavestheday expressing her frustrations with her boss and the demands of her job not only make me laugh out loud, but also remind me how grateful I am to be able to teach yoga as my career.

My Twitter friends have become part of  my Satsang -  my truth company. Satsang is a Sanskrit word for being in the company of the wise. With just an iphone and a Twitter app I've been able to expand my yoga world exponentially. Which in turn has opened up a new avenue for me to grow into and understand how yoga affects me and my life.

In fact, we've now formed a Yoga Book Club. We're reading Yoga School Dropout by Lucy Edge. There's no deadline or meeting time, as we read we tweet what we think of it, discuss and share. In fact, Bob Weisenberg (@BobWeisenberg) who writes for Elephant Journal has even joined our book club discussion. Mr. Weisenberg interviewed Lucy Edge for Elephant Journal(http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/11/the-swimming-pool-of-cosmic-bliss-by-lucy-edge/) and has even teased us with the possibility that Ms. Edge herself may join our Twitter discussions.

I'd love for you to join our book club too. If you are already on Twitter you can find me @YogaLifeWay. Just start reading and when you post use hashtag #YSD to let us know you are talking about Yoga School Dropout and want to be a part of the book club.

If you're not on Twitter and just don't get it yet either, that's ok. I'll be posting my own review of the book here when I'm finished reading. Go ahead and post your thoughts here in the comments section. Let's discuss and make this Satsang even bigger!