Reading Pet Peeves

August 2 Question: What are your pet peeves when reading/writing/editing?

My biggest pet peeve when I read a book is having to go back a chapter to read it again because the story line doesn't make sense!

I recently read a book that alternated chapters writing from first person current time, to first person past time and then third person past time. What? To make it worse, the third person past time kept changing names for the same person.

I kept getting confused and having to go back and reread.  When I went to Goodreads to leave a review most of the other reviewers complained about the same issue. I still gave the book three stars though because the story really had potential. Also, I don't believe in publicly bashing anyone. If the book was truly horrible or I couldn't even finish it, I wouldn't even leave a review.

Side note: To my fellow writer's out there, please, please be a considerate reader and leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. You know how much authors depend on reviews to move their book up in search engines and ratings. The more reviews (not even necessarily all fabulous reviews) the higher up the book is placed and more people will see it.

Then I had to wonder, how did a book getting these kind of reviews, with so many people saying the story line doesn't make sense, get a publishing deal? Especially considering how many good writers there are out there who would give their eyeteeth to be published. 

When it comes to the writing and editing process, my pet peeve is that it just doesn't always come as easily as I would like. Sometimes the muse strikes and I can write for hours. Other times, I have to bang my head against the computer before I can barely type out a few coherent sentences. That's frustrating, but just part of the process I suppose.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

When Multitasking Doesn't Work

As a freelance writer, I have to fit in my writing any time and any where I can. Late at night is the most common writing time. With a close second being while my girls are dancing.

Most of the time that works out pretty well.

Except for when it doesn't.

I am currently sitting in the back of a conference room as about 75 teenagers participate in a tap dance workshop with some well-known tap teacher I've never heard of but the girls were quite excited about. I am currently supposed to be working on current science-backed research to promote yoga as an optimal alternative health practice for low back pain.

Yeah, this isn't working too well.

The music is loud

The tap is loud.

The girls are thirsty.

And hungry.

And tired.

This is day five of their National Dance Competition and these girls are wore out. These workshops are supposed to be their reward for a week of intense dance competition. Except my girls, and our dance school, have done so well we have been invited back to dance again tomorrow in the big showcase where all the first place winners compete against each other.

It's actually quite an honor for our little dance school.

But, we are tired.

Ironically, I volunteered for parent duty for this, as well as the next two workshops spanning over six hours. My theory was I would look like the good mom volunteering to sit with the girls for six straight hours of booming music while at the same time have six hours to do nothing but write.

I am reading current scientific research, but in my head I hear step ball change, step ball change,  shuffle shuffle out. Good now do it faster!

And of course when I hear, now put it together go!, I have to look up and watch as they dance to the choreography they just learned a minute ago.

I'm not sure how much scientific writing I'll get accomplished today. I may need to let the girls know I'll be just outside under a shady tree somewhere if they need me.

Rule #1 Of Writing

July 5 Question: What is one valuable lesson you've learned since you started writing?

The writing doesn't actually happen unless you sit down and write.

Just sit your ass down in the chair, the bed, a comfy couch - it doesn't even matter where. You just have to sit down and starting putting words to paper / blank screen.

You can think about writing. You can plan to write. You can make time to write.

But you have to actually do the writing.

I spend A LOT of time thinking about writing. I normally have posts written in my head while exercising, driving or even mowing the grass.

Yet lately I haven't taken the next step to actually write them down.

In fact, I've done more writing about not writing these past few months than I've actually done any real writing.

A few years ago I wrote an Elephant Journal post titled Being A Writer Is Easy. Re-reading it has inspired me to once again be a more disciplined writer.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

Quit Writing? Never

June’s IWSG Day Question: Did you ever say “I quit”? If so, what happened to make you come back to writing?

I've taken many breaks in my writing.

Short breaks. Long breaks. Intentional breaks. Life got in the way breaks. And lots of just plain lazy breaks.

But I really don't recall ever thinking I quit.

Have I ever been discouraged in my writing? Sure. Do I go through periods of wild creativity followed by absolute nothingness. Yep.

But quit writing? How would I even do that?

Writing is just a part of who I am. Even if no one else reads it, I need to get the words out. This blog has saved me more than once.

I've said it many times before -- writing is how I get the crazy out.

I will always write in some way. I will never quit writing.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

Writing A Book, Just Writing Anything, Is An Accomplishment

Publicity for my book seems to come in waves. There's total silence and zero sales for a month or two, and then suddenly a flurry of activity and sales. I can't always pinpoint what leads to the sudden sales increase, but I am always grateful for it.

Right now I'm in a sales upswing which also leads to more local people finding out about my book. While ninety percent of the people are always positive and encouraging, there are always those few that seem to want to diminish my achievement.

Did you try and get published with Random House?

Oh, my friend wrote a book and was interviewed by (insert name of television person I haven't even heard of here)?

How many books have you sold?

How much money did you make?

I thought authors made a lot of money?

Why haven't you written a second book yet?

JK Rowling wrote her books as a single mom on the train? Why can't you make more time to write?

I remember when the book first came out one guy I don't even know on social media kept telling me it wasn't a "real book" if one of the major publishing houses didn't publish it. He went away pretty quick when I asked for the link to his bestselling book. (He didn't have one of course.)

I'm pretty good about not letting the haters get me down. It's just such a weird phenomenon. I don't know why people are so quick to critique everything. 

I tell fellow writers publishing a book doesn't make you a real writer. Writing makes you a real writer. 

Just in case you missed all the other links I've posted, you can find my book Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom right here on Amazon.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

Writing Recycling

March 1 question: Have you ever pulled out a really old story and reworked it? Did it work out?

Yes! Who hasn't? Or why wouldn't you?

Most of the writers in the Insecure Writer's Support Group are fiction writers so I'm sure this question is really meant for those old half written stories that never got finished. But, as a nonfiction writer, I have often pulled out old blog posts, old ideas jotted down or even an already published piece to rework it and republish it.

As a freelance writer you have to find a way to get the most from your writing. Usually it's rewriting a piece with a different angle for a different publication. Or expanding on a shorter post to make it more in-depth.

I'm still in my writing funk and not doing much, if any, writing. Let alone any rewriting. I'm still not sure what that is about.

Maybe I'll go through some of my old stuff and see if there is anything to refresh and renew my writing spark.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

My Favorite Aspect Of Being A Writer

October 5 IWSG Question: What is your favorite aspect of being a writer?

My favorite aspect of being a writer... is feeling like a writer.

There are two times in my life where I really feel comfortable in my own skin. Two times that I feel like I'm fulfilling my dharma: teaching yoga and writing.

Most of my writing is done propped up on my bed late at night after work, after chores are done and after kids are in bed. I feel like a want-to-be writer then. Because, you know, "real" writers have cute little writing cottages on the beach where they can take breaks and walk the sand to find their latest best selling idea. And they don't have to work real jobs to pay the bills because their mail box is full of royalty checks.

These past few years I've been fortunate to travel to the West Coast a few times. They were much-needed mini vacations to reconnect with old friends, practice yoga in chic little studios and of course, to write.

Sitting in a Starbucks in Seattle - feel like a writer.
Walking the rocky Northwest beaches thinking of ideas - feel like a writer
Sitting in an airport with my laptop open - feel like a writer
Jotting down notes while waiting to meet my friend for the afternoon - feel like a writer

It's not just when I'm away that I feel like a writer. Right now I'm sitting in my local Starbucks waiting on my girls to be finished dance class. I've gotten into a good habit these past couple months of day job, home to kids, drop girls at dance, go to Starbucks and write, pick up girls and continue with mom chores for the evening.

I like my cherished moments here. In fact I try and pick the far back corner booth so I can hide in case people I know stop in. I don't want forced socialization to hinder my writing!

I suppose the theme here is my favorite aspect of being a writer... is sitting down and actually writing.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them.

When Do You Know Your Story Is Ready

October 5 IWSG Question: When do you know your story is ready?

You just do.

I say that like it's so easy.

But when I was writing my first book (get ready for a shameless plug here) Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom , I thought the book was finished more than once. Actually probably a few times.

Finish #1: I had completed the first draft. Years of thinking about writing and 9 months of writing had finally brought me to the point I WROTE A BOOK! Life is good. I have accomplished something.

Just a couple weeks later I got the unexpected news I was getting divorced. And it was not the nice amicable kind of divorce. I was so devastated I thought my life was over and my book was crap so I literally picked up the manuscript and threw it in the trash. Dumb, I know.

About a year later I was flying home to help my dad and I found the manuscript on my hard drive. I realized my life was not over - it just needed a rewrite!

Finish #2: The rewrite is complete! My book is complete! My life isn't over! And I sent draft number 2 off to the editor. She loved it. Life is good.

And... then I had a crisis with one of my children. Book? What book? My life was consumed with doctors, hospitals, therapists, blame and tears.

This lasted probably another 6 months.

Then, and I swear this is true, I awoke from sleeping in the middle of the night and wrote the ending to my book.

Just like that. It was finished.

And, this time, I knew it was ready.

It sure would have been nice not to have to go through those years of trauma and drama, but I can honestly say it made my book better because it made it real. Everything I wrote in that book I lived and learned. That book was truly my blood, sweat, tears, heart and soul.

I'm now in the process of contemplating book 2. It's in my head, I'm just having some trouble getting it on paper.

Hopefully it won't take so many years and so much heartache this time around.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them. 

Weekend Interrupted

My plans for this weekend:

Regular weekend chores,

Begin the final look through of my book before it is published to Kindle.

Write at least one blog post.

Finish parenting article and submit.

Begin writing next yoga article assignment.


What really happened this weekend: 

Regular weekend chores.

I got caught up in these online training videos I'm required to do for my job before next weekend's practical training. I knew there were at-home assignments required before next weekend, but I had no idea they would take this long. I've been working on them for hours now and I still have more to do!

Yes, I'm grateful I have a job. Yes I want to keep my job.

But I'm really resentful it is taking up my only two days off!

And even more resentful that I accomplished nothing on my writing list.

Since these videos all have quizzes and final exams attached to them, I pretty much have to give them my mostly undivided attention. So, back to the videos I go now.

Finding The Time To Write vs. Making The Time To Write

IWSG Question: How do you find the time to write in your busy day?

We all know the answer I'm supposed to give here. How do you find time to write? You make the time to write.

Blah blah blah

But the real answer is, often times I don't find/make the time. Many times there legitimately isn't time. And sometimes, well, I'm just too lazy.

That's why a couple hours hiding in the corner of Starbucks typing away is such a joy. Or why I do most of my writing after 10pm when the kids are pretty much settled for the night.  With the new school year starting we also have a new dance schedule for kids 4 and 6. I had to rearrange my work schedule a little bit to be able to get them to dance 4 nights per week on time. The plus side to that is I have built two nights into that schedule where I hope to drop them at dance, and then head off to my favorite corner booth and spend the time writing until I have to pick them up again.

That's the plan. How well that plan works out remains to be seen.

Between working, being a single mom and all the other day-to-day drudgery, finding the time to write is a challenge. Making the time to write is a choice.

A choice I really wish I wasn't so often too wore out to make. 

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them. 

My Writer's Life: A Series of Stops and Starts

IWSG Question: What was your very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer? Where is it now? Collecting dust or has it been published?

We would have to go way, way back to find my very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer. My bio says I've been "writing since I first picked up a crayon" and that is so  true.

I wrote for school newspapers in middle and high school.

My first paid writing was after my college internship at a small local community newspaper in Florida.  From there I wrote for magazines.

From there I got married, had babies, got depressed and stopped writing.

Fast forward a few years and I began this blog here.

I was very fortunate this blog caught the eye of the editor of an online publication and from there, as they say, it's history.

Except add in a few more stops and starts along the way.

My writing is good. But my ability to self sabotage is even better!

My writing career hasn't been linear. There have been times I've paid my bills with writing. Other times I've paid my bills with an assortment of other jobs and didn't write at all. I continually strive for the balance between working to survive and writing to succeed.

My life, like my writing, is a work in progress.

This post is a part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly meeting of writers who over think, under write and just want people to like them. 

Procrastination As A Writing Method

Early March 2016: I have the honor of being asked to contribute to another author's book. This author is also host of a popular radio show, so it's kind of a big deal.  She asks me to write anywhere from 2,000 - 6,000 words and gives me the general idea of her theme. The deadline is only two weeks away but I tell her I will do my best.

I don't come anywhere near to trying my best.

Late March 2016: I completely miss the deadline. I have some guilt about this but use the excuse I wasn't completely clear on what specifically she wanted me to write.

Mid April 2016: The author, who again has a much bigger audience than I do so it really would benefit me to have my writing linked to hers, gets in touch with me again to say she got her editors to extend the deadline for me. She really wants my work included. The new deadline is May 26.

I promise her I will get it done.

And I do nothing.

I jot down some notes.

I decide 2,000 - 6,000 words is too vague, too much, too general.

May 8, 2016: My Mother's Day present to myself is to sneak off to Starbucks for the afternoon with nothing but my laptop, a book and my new Starbucks gift card.
My muse finally joins me and I write and write and write! This feels great! I'm not a bad writer! I can do this!

May 13 - 22, 2016: I travel to Chicago for Kid 2's boot camp graduation, return home for Kid 3's high school graduation, host a graduation party, attend Kid 4 and 6's dance recital. Writing deadline looms over me, but I am legitimately busy.

Monday May 23, 2016: I'll finish writing it tomorrow.

Tuesday May 24, 2016: I explain to the kids I need writing time and will be closing my bedroom door to get some work done. For the next few hours I: scan Facebook, watch Grey's Anatomy on Netflix, scroll through pictures on my phone, check emails, scan Facebook again, check my bank balance. Finally sit down and write about 11pm. I complete the piece but decide to wait until morning for one last review before submitting it.

Wednesday May 25, 2016: Awaken 30 minutes earlier than I normally do to read what I wrote the night before, decide I am pleased with it, spell check it, and send it off.

With a full 24 hours before the deadline!

The procrastination method worked again!

But, why oh why can't I be one of those serious writers who has a daily quiet writing time, a dedicated writing office and never, ever stresses over a deadline?

The Sky's The Limit Radio Interview

I never really know what to expect when going for an interview. Sometimes it's very obvious the interviewer has no idea what me or my book is about. Other times the interviewer has done her homework and the time flows smoothly and easily.

This radio interview was one of those smooth, easy, enjoyable interviews.

Karen Leavitt's show The Sky's The Limit airs on VoiceAmerica. She books guests who she feels empower resilience and courage. So I am quite honored she chose to interview me.

Of course we talked about my book Creating A Joyful Life: The Lessons I Learned From Yoga and My Mom. But we also talked on some pretty heavy topics like depression and divorce. But the theme through it all was creating joy out of chaos.

Please click here ----->    Crazy Can Be Joyful  and take a listen. As always, if you like what you hear, PLEASE share it on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media. Word of mouth is the best recommendation I can ask for!

Small Accomplishments

I think sometimes we get so caught up in the highlights we post on Facebook that we forget to acknowledge our small accomplishments as well.

Today Kid 1 did something that just 4 months ago would have caused him such anxiety he'd certainly have chosen drugs or alcohol to self medicate himself. But today, he took a deep breath and he took a chance. When I told him how proud I was of him, he tried to downplay it. No, you have to give yourself credit for all the day-to-day small accomplishments that get you through life.

As I was thinking about that, I realized we all need to give ourselves more credit. I only post to social media when something I've written is picked up by a "big" outlet or I've done a TV or radio interview. Those things are way cool don't get me wrong.

But today, I took a pitch that had been rejected, carved time out of my day to be alone to work on it, and I resubmitted it somewhere else.

1 - I didn't let the rejection discourage me
2 - I made writing time a priority
3 - I took a chance and resubmitted to an outlet that's probably a better fit anyway

Three small accomplishments in one!

For now on, I'm going to stop feeling like a failure between the big moments and starting appreciating the small accomplishments in my life.

6 In The City TV Interview

Earlier this month I took the day off work, put on some girl clothes, a little (a lot) of make up and sat down for an interview with 6 In The City, a local Jackson, Tn television station.

Since it was a local station and not a network I wasn't sure what to expect. (How diva does that sound! It wasn't a network interview, like I'm some big celebrity or something. Ha!)  But, in an interesting and unexpected twist, my Amazon book sales took a big jump in the few days after the interview aired.

Lesson learned? You never know who is watching!

Another lesson learned? Wear clothes that you are comfortable in and make you feel good. Fortunately you can't see me tugging at my shirt or trying to sit in a better position on the couch.

YouTube was giving me difficulty embedding the video directly here. But you can click the link and give it a watch!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_fIv5u4m50&t=20m45s

Woman On The Verge of Paradise : Book Review

Spoiler alert -- the book you are about to read does not end with "The knight in shining armor rode in on his white horse, rescued the fair maiden, and they lived happily ever after."

And I am so glad it doesn't end that way!

Woman On The Verge of Paradise is the latest book by Robyn Alana Engel, my new friend and fellow blogger at Life By Chocolate. The book is Robyn's "memoir-ish" story of growing up feeling like you don't quite fit in, becoming a writer, looking for love, getting married, getting divorced, still writing, and still looking for love. And realizing that a life not mated isn't just OK, it's actually pretty good.

So basically it's the story of my life, and the life of many other middle aged, divorced women I know.

I had the opportunity to do a little Q&A with Robyn and she provided even more insight into her life and her work.

Do you still believe in the fairy tale ending? 
No, I don't. Sigh. Almost all romances are happy-go-lucky at first. Then reality serves a fierce sucker punch to the gutt and we're knocked onto our tuchases.* *Yiddish for butts, rear-ends, derrieres, and/or asses; I was trying to be polite.

Are you still hoping/waiting for the fairy tale ending?
Well, I did recently sign onto on-line dating again, and I am looking for love. But I'm certainly not hoping or waiting for the traditional fairy tale ending.

Do you have any regrets about your marriage?
That's a great question. Yes, I have so many regrets - that I fell for him in the first place, that I lost myself to the relationship, that I didn't respect my feelings of discomfort, that he fared so badly and in ways I won't get into now. Several years ago, though, I decided that I can carry regrets. Regrets are human and manageable. Meanwhile, I decided that I don't deserve the guilt or shame or other sorts of self-abusive crap we do to ourselves. Life is hard enough. So I have regrets, but I don't fault myself. I entered the relationship with a pure, trusting open-heart. And that's a beautiful thing.

In hindsight, the signs of trouble were already there before the marriage. What did you learn from that time and how does it influence your current relationships? 
That's a key question too. Women are taught to sacrifice it all for the sake of marriage. It doesn't matter what kind of men we marry; so long as we marry. So I did everything for Justin and our relationship during the three years we were together. Gosh, it's tough to spell out all that I've learned, but I can sum it up by saying that self-love and self-respect are more important than anything else. Sadly, we aren't taught this basic truth. I'm more careful with my choices in men nowadays. I'm happier too. Life is a bit lighter, even though it's dark and heavy. But I'm quicker to laugh and smile, because I feel pretty darn good about me.

Any advice for other mature single ladies hoping/waiting/getting frustrated for their fairy tale ending?
Girlfriends, you are wonderful. You really are. Don't settle. Do not settle. I repeat: Don't even think about settling. Men, you're okay too. You shouldn't settle for a nagging, controlling diva. There are some very nice women *pointing at self* who know how to treat a guy right. Back to my gal pals, though, a few words: (1) chocolate, (2) Duracell, and (3) chocolate.

Anything else you think potential viewers would like to know?
I'm thrilled for every opportunity to put out. Oops, I meant, to put out my message. Phew! Close call. Seriously, though, I want my book to squelch the fairy tale to smithereens. I want to say to the world - in a big, bold way - that it's a great thing to live solely on your own terms. It's okay, and even a wonderful thing in many ways, to be single. I'm a single, non-parent, and I'm more content with myself and my life than I've ever felt before. I really want Woman on the Verge of Paradise to shift the world towards self-love and self-respect.

Also, it's by no means a girly book. There's very little full-fledged sex, no talk of "throbbing manhood," and a lot of penile incompetence. My male readers have loved the book too

Woman On The Verge of Paradise available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon. 

Snap Out Of It!

It was time. I needed an attitude adjustment. And I needed it to be brutally honest.

The most honest, effective thing I needed to tell myself was:

Yeah Jennifer, snap the F* out of it!

I began #AugustMoon15 whining about what if when I get a "real job" I don't have time to write anymore? What if I get a "real job" and hate it so much that I lose my desire or energy to write? Being a "real" writer is all I've ever wanted to do and if I go back to work (by necessity because mortgage companies don't really care so much about artistic endeavors), I won't be able to call myself a writer anymore.

And I know from past experience that when I am working a full time soul crushing job I am not a happy person.

But then, as usual, my yoga and writing friends reminded me of a few simple truths:

1 - If you write you are a writer.
2 - If I insist on defining being a writer as being published well then yeah I've got that covered too.
3 - I've always written and will always write even if I am working full time outside of the writing field.
4 - Yes, if I wasn't raising six kids by myself I probably could go live in a beach cottage somewhere and spend my days living a bohemian artistic existence without worry of bill collectors.
5 - But, I am responsible for six other people so quit looking at 'what if' and start focusing on 'what is'.
6 - When I was working full time I somehow managed to still be there for my kids when they needed me.

The real kicker in all this is I have been out of work since March and no one has even offered me a job. And, yes, I have been giving it an honest legitimate effort at finding a full time work.

I'm so convinced I'm going to hate this unknown future job and I don't even have the job yet!

So snap out of it and stop projecting negativity into the unknown!

I Fear The Darkness Is Still Too Close

This week begins #AugustMoon15, a series of writing prompts by the lovely Alana Lawson of Wolf and Word. 

Alana and my friend Kat McNally periodically send out these writing prompts and as a collective we bloggers, writers and dreamers from around the world share our thoughts and our words.

I love participating in these projects because, aside from forcing me to write more often, it forces me to write for my own sake. I'm not writing with the intention of getting paid. I'm writing with the intention of discovery. 

I'm combing the Day 1 and Day 2 prompts into this first post tonight.


So let me tell you what I am afraid of.

I am afraid of once again returning to the darkness.

I spent many years in darkness, afraid and hopeless. I have worked hard to get out of that place and these past few months have been full of much light and happiness.

Many of my Instagram posts this summer have been hash tagged #livetheliveyoulove and #creatingajoyfullife (based off the release of my book).

Although I have been unemployed, I have been very busy writing and teaching yoga. That is the life I love! That is where I find joy.

When I am writing I feel the most alive. It doesn't even have to be good writing. Just setting aside time to pound the keys and release the crazy inside of me is what nourishes my soul.

I am afraid I am going to lose that.

I am very pleased with the success I've had with my writing this summer. Yet, I wonder can it continue?  I fear it can not.

Let's be honest, a successful book release and even writing that's gone viral to the Yahoo home page don't pay the mortgage. My financial future is shaky at best and I am afraid it is irresponsible of me to stay here at my keyboard rather than take the first soul-crushing job that comes along.

I am afraid it is an either/or situation. Either I stay here and live the life I love and become even more financially unstable, Or I go to a job I hate and pay the bills.

I am afraid I can't have both - A life I love doing what I love, where I stay far away from the darkness and instead dance wildly in the light, and still have the financial security to raise six kids and provide a secure future for myself.

I try to stay focused on the path in front of me and not get distracted by fear. I try to stay open to the signs that I am on the right path - and I believe I've been given many positive signs. In fact, the oracle reading given to me by Kat McNally at the beginning of #AugustMoon15 included this:

"... this is positive confirmation of the fine tuning you’ve been doing. Allow your authentic, beautiful inner hues to unleash, adding dynamic and creative power to your world. Not only does it feel amazing to create from this space, but success is difficult to avoid when you hold joyful states over a period of time.”

Now, as I write this, I feel positive. Yet later, when the lights are out and I'm alone with my thoughts, the fear and uncertainty of my future will creep in again.

Writer's Guilt - The Self Imposed Kind

Tonight I read Murees Dupe's blog about writer's guilt. She linked back to a blog hop writer's group called the Insecure Writer's Support Group - what a fabulous idea!

So tonight's post is number one of my participation in the IWSG. Yes, I realize I'm a day late. But, as an insecure and sometimes lazy writer, I just saw the post tonight.

Why am I feeling insecure as a writer right now?

Because everyone is being too nice to me and telling me how much they are enjoying my book and recent articles.

Stop being so nice to me everyone! It's too much pressure!

I recently had two of my articles picked up by Yahoo, one even made the Yahoo home page. Pretty cool right? But what if it never happens again? What if the best writing I'll ever do has already been done? What if I'm a one-hit wonder?

I've been in a writing lull for a couple weeks now. I'm the type of writer that writes when I'm inspired. But the past couple weeks I've just been hanging out with the kids before they go back to school. Netflix marathons and eating junk food haven't left me very inspired.

So we can add "not a very disciplined writer" to the list of reasons I'm feeling insecure tonight.

I'm sure there are other reasons I'm feeling insecure tonight. But I'm on season three of The Newsroom on Netflix and there's some Haagen-Dazs in the freezer waiting for me.

So Now That I'm Kinda Famous....

So now that I'm a famous best-selling published author

So now that I'm a famous best-selling published author

So now that I'm a published author who has actually sold a few books, my life has changed in miraculous ways.

The day the book was released to Amazon I had a standing 10am meeting with a friend/massage therapist. As I walked in the door, I was greeted with hugs, congratulations and high fives. We spent lots of time rejoicing and planning the future.

I drove home smiling and feeling damn proud of myself.

When I got home, the kids were finally awake (summer vacation as teenagers means staying up all night and sleeping most of the day).  I gathered everyone around for the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT --

Mom's book is selling on Amazon!!!

"Cool."

"Did you get paid?"

"Do we get paid?"

"What's for dinner?"

I know they didn't show their enthusiasm, but they meant it I'm sure.

Never mind their lack of celebration, I'm a real author now!

But, this garbage disposal doesn't seem to be aware I AM A PUBLISHED AUTHOR. It should have some decency and not be broken and spraying gunk out of it!

And my car also isn't aware I AM A PUBLISHED AUTHOR. So it can just stop flashing that 'oil pressure low' light at me.

And why does the pool have another leaky hose? Hello!!!! PUBLISHED AUTHORS don't have pools that leak!

OK so maybe my life hasn't changed all that much. But, still, it's pretty cool and I'm pretty proud that I actually wrote a book.

Although, I bet Stephen King's pool doesn't leak.

(For those of you who have somehow escaped being forced to listen to me tell you about my book -- the link is over there on the right. You can buy it! Please do.)