Intentions: #reverb13 Day 14

What are your best intentions for 2014? How do you see yourself actualizing those intentions?

A few years ago I wrote a post titled These Are Not New Years Resolutions. Then two years later I wrote Letter To The Universe.  I'm good at setting intentions.

Not necessarily as good at fulfilling those intentions.

So here I go again: a list of intentions for 2014. With everything that has happened the past year, I believe it's time to get real and make my intentions real. 

• Pay it forward

Each Christmas it's a family tradition to always put money into the Salvation Army kettle any time we see one. Family legend tells that when my grandfather was a child during The Depression, it was the Salvation Army that kept him and his family alive one long, cold winter. Probably 80 years later now and we are still saying thank you.

A few years ago I was walking with the kids through downtown Philadelphia. We passed by a man in a wheelchair holding a sign that said "homeless vet."  Kid 2, at the time maybe 14 years old, turned around, pulled a few dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the man. As we continued to walk on the guy yelled to me "You've got a fine boy there ma'am."  Yes, I do. Even though we never really know if someone is homeless or it's a scam, my kids believe it's best to err on the side of caution. I've seen them hand over their own money numerous times. 

Fast forward to now and so many people have been generous to me and my family that I can never repay them all. As with any true act of generosity though, they don't want to be paid back and in many cases they don't even want acknowledged for their acts of kindness. So, I will be on the lookout for ways to continue to pay it forward any time and any way I can. 

• Write more. Write more often. Just write. 

Well, yes I've already put it out there that I am re-committed to finishing my book.  But I also have numerous blog ideas, half written blogs and notes entered into my iPhone. Inspiration never hits me when it's convenient. It usually happens when I'm driving and all I can do is dictate into my phone and hope I don't forget about it. 

My friends Rick and Jilda are fellow bloggers who write every single day. Even during the tornadoes that destroyed their town last year, they managed to continue to blog regularly. I not only admire that but I know it also makes them better writers. In fact, it helped Rick with the discipline he needed to write his book. (Hint, hint to self.)

• Rewrite my story

Looking back over my blog and now participating in #reverb13, I realize how much of my writing lately centers around my divorce. It's a necessary part of the cathartic process for me so I'm allowing myself to continue to write about it, for now. Eventually though the time will come that I am no longer Jennifer, the one who got divorced. I'll rewrite my story to become Jennifer, the one who.....

• Let go of the guilt

It's time to let go of why wasn't I good enough? Why did I stay when I so obviously shouldn't? It's time to cut myself some slack on the parenting mistakes I've made and will continue to make.  It's become too heavy to carry the guilt of making myself a priority. Whether that means taking a yoga class, getting a massage, going for a walk or just taking some time alone to recharge, I need it to not only thrive but to survive so that I can be everything to everyone.

• Be more open

This is something that has been gnawing at me lately. I'm only beginning to be able to put it into words for myself, so I'll leave at I'd like to be more open to any and all opportunities that the Universe has in store for me in 2014. 

This post is part of #reverb13, a series of daily writing prompts to explore the year passed and to manifest the year ahead. This prompt was found at Elephant Journal.